The Arms of Jesus

Topic at the girls club tonight was how Jesus saved us from our sins. It wasn't easy to prepare - all the time I tried to something happened like ringing cell phones, important emails, visitors - so that I assumed something special would happen tonight. Most times if the preparation time is hard the study turns out good. But as you will see, this is not a rule.
Four girls showed up and one of them brought also her younger sister. Otherwise she's not allowed to come Most of the other girls are sick or couldn't make it because of the bad weather condition. And these four girls who showed up acted like we had the ten worst behaving kids from town in one room. Okay, got me, I'm exaggerating, but believe me, they were realle nerve-stretching tonight.
Long time ago one of my mentors told me that it is normal to experience such behavior especially when you plan to show the way of salvation. Satan of course doesn't like it and he stirs up the kids and it's a plain simple spiritual war going on. So I was kind of relaxed but not at all happy, struggeling through the lection waiting for the one thing to happen. Nothing. No interest, no sudden understanding or deep questions.
The game was not much better, in fact, they showed themselves from their worst sides. I was ready to break up earlier, two get my little niece and enjoy an relaxed evening at home with her an my daughter. After all, I didn't, and when it was time for them to go home, the oldest one all of a sudden fell dead silent. "What's up?" I asked her. "Nothing", she mumbled. "Maybe I got to strict", I thought, they really had gotten on my nerves. "Seems like you're in a bad mood", I said. "No", she replied, her expressions the totally difference to her words. "I had been to strict", I thought, and, feeling a little guilty, I put my arm around her shoulder and asked her: "Could you need a big hug?" She turned round clunging her arms around me. I hugged her and she squeezed back like she never wanted to let go. "You don't want to go home, right?" It all of a sudden hit me and I could feel her nodding, her head pressed to my chest. Her friend was like a rubber ball next to us jumping up and down, asking 30 times in a minute "What's wrong with her? What is it? What happened? Is she ok?"
"She just needs a big hug", I told her, trying to pray in silent for this girl in my arms. She hugged me as if she never would let go. I tried to ignore the other girl - who for sure also wanted a hug! - and prayed, that Jesus would touch the heart of this girl in my arms. Silently I blessed her. She is one of our muslim girls and it's difficult to tell her about Jesus in direct ways. Her friend didn't stop asking and I explained once more: "Nothing is wrong, she just needs a big hug." "Then hug faster", this girl replied, "we have to go!" It was just too cute and we all broke up laughing. That loosened the situation a bit.
"You get another hug next time we'll see each other", I told the girl. Her smile, just beginning to lighten up her face, disappeared again. "You don't know if you can come next time", I guessed. She nodded. "Then I will pray for you, that you will be able to come" I said and she nodded again, the first time not telling me that she wouldn't be allowed to.
I have no clue what's going on in her life, in her home, but I do know that she needs Jesus so bad! Satan tried to hinder her from hearing about Jesus, so Jesus didn't use words these time but arms.

"Surely children weren't made for the streets / And Fathers were not made to leave / Surely this isn't how it should be / Let Your kingdom come
Surely nations were not made for war / Or the broken and due to be ignored / Surely this couldn't be what You saw / Let Your kingdom come /Here in my heart

And I will live to carry your compassion / To love a world that's broken /To be your hands and feet
And I will give with the life that I've been given / And go beyond religion to see the world be changed / By the power of Your Name

Surely life wasn't made to regret / And the lost were not made to forget / Surely faith without action is dead / Let Your Kingdom come / Lord break this heart

Jesus Your Name / Is a shelter for the hurting / Your Name / Is a refuge the weak
Only Your Name / Can take the undeserving / Jesus Your Name /Holds everything I need"
(Lincoln Brewster)

Sometimes I wish...

...I would be braver. Then I would establish one of these day groups for kids for example. Or some kind of assisted living for so called difficult kids. I just hate it to see how Satan destroys lifes even in these young ages. You seem so helpless and powerless facing the multi problems of these children. And it seems like nothing could be able to reach them. It doesn't really help to tell myself that Jesus is almighty and that He has the power. I just feel crushed down, longing for many, many miracles.
And all of a sudden I remember that Jesus promised me exactly this. That I would see wonders and miracles happen.
Sometimes I wish I would be braver and just fight in the knowledge of these miracles to happen. Maybe we start with this one, Jesus, making me bolder and braver.

Through it all...

Tumultuously times... lots of paperwork for German bureaucracy and some cards have to be reshuffled, how we say in Germany. I started to worry the past few days if I could handle it, what would lie ahead and how things would turn out. Yesterday I talked with a friend on skype, who faces a similar situation, discussing all this. Yeah, I know all those "trust-me"-verses, but sometimes they just seem to stay in your head and won't settle in your heart.
All of a sudden I remembered the verse I got on our New-Years-retreat for this year:

"My heart says of you, 'Seek his face!' Your face, Lord, I will seek." Psalm 27:8

That settles it all.
Seeking His face I'm reminded that I'm not of this world. I'm heavenly bound. My citizienship is in heaven. I don't fit into this system here. And, most of all, this is not the system that counts for me. Sometimes I have to submit to it and just fill out the blanks and applications, but guess who's working on them ;-)

Advantages and Disadvantages about

... being sick.
It's funny how different things are if you are sick. So I just write down some (+) and (-) things about the last days:

(+) enough time to sleep, sleep and sleep
(-) no motivation for nothing, not even for prayer or reading the bible
(+) more time than usual with my daughter
(+) feeling revived without juggling with different dates
(-) coughing
(-) the more getting better, the more getting bored
(-/+) watching movies I always wanted to watch
(+) being at home
(+) taking a break
(+) the more getting better, the more coming back to prayer and my bible
(+) the more getting better, the more ideas starting to rise up in my mind... like going to Nepal again this summer and how to get things together for this outreach.
Think I should stay sick a little longer! ;-)

A Blacksmith, a Table, Ephesians and the Girls Club

A friend of mine has a really unique couch table. He made it as his masterpiece for becoming a blacksmith. I think it's one of the most beautiful tables I've ever seen. When I told him so, he showed me all the mistakes in there and where he was careless with carrying out details. This little story is kind of the prefix to this post:

Every New Year we draw verses from the bible, one personal and one for our children's ministry. This years verse really touched my heart: For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10) One of the girls at the New-Years-retreat draw the verse, and when she read it, I looked around and saw all these workmanships, this little masterpieces, and my heart was filled with joy.
Now you may say, "but I'm no masterpiece, I have so many mistakes and blemishes!" Think about my blacksmith-friend. He wasn't careful doing his masterpiece and yes, this one has mistakes. Still I think it is beautiful.
Can you imagine God not being careful creating something - someone? Yes, you may have mistakes and blemishes - but God created you different. The German translation reads "he created us new in Christ Jesus". What a wonderful start into this new year! Even when I am a masterpiece with scratches and damages, He creates me new in Christ Jesus.
Tonight we had the first girls club after the holidays. It started chaotic like always, we couldn't use our regular room. Usually after the holidays the girls are chaotic, too, forgetting about rules, manners and everything. We started off with this "verse of the year" and I couldn't believe how well-behaving those girls were the whole time! It almost frightend me :-)

We drew personal verses as well, and it was so cool to see the verses the muslim girls got. One had "Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus" (the German bible just reads "Christ"), another one "whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life". God knows exactly what they need! They all loved their verse and created it beautifully in a wooden frame to take it home. They are God's workmanship, He created every single one of them and His desire is to save them and love them home.
I believe with all my heart that those girls respond to the love of Christ and that lifes are being changed. Please pray for them that they understand the gospel in full and accept Christ Jesus as their savior.

This Is How We Know

Coming back from the New-Years-Retreat with the kids I'm really tired and surprised and overwhelmed once again by my Jesus.
It must have been eleven years ago when I first visited this small hut in the midst of the woods. It was the time when I started to be in charge for the children's ministry and the whole ministry including the kids could fit on one admittedly quite big couch. We went to this hut with a team and it was there where we prayed for our ministry and God gave us directions and foundations still valid today. I myself had one of my most touching experiences with God. And here I am again, with the second generation of kids, one dear friend from the first generation, now a reliable young man, helping us minister to the kids. I'm not the sentimantel kind of person but things like this are really touching my heart.
We were able to take a boy with us from the streetcafé, whose father had died the day before Christmas. We had the most precious prayer time for the ministry of a friend of mine in South Dakota who also had a New-Years-Retreat with (unsaved) kids. The kids were asking for the devotion time ("mail from Paul")with Paul's letter to the Philippians. And I just love the scripture one of the girls drew for the children's ministry: For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10)
This is how we know that our work in the Lord is not in vain. This is how we know that He, who started the good work, will also be faithful to complete it. This is how we know that He is real, that is love and grace for us will never end. This is... just listen to Matt Redman, who put this all together in a wonderful song :-)
(click on the pic next to this blog)

Christmas

First thing I heard when I stepped into the streetcafé early this evening was: "Have you heard, XY did die the day before Christmas." It really shocked me. In his early forties I had no idea he had been sick. He and his wife got a divorce not long ago but did lots of things still together because of their son. This son is very special. If you want to meet a really hyperactive kid, I'll introduce you to him. He's somewhat between nine and eleven. We had him with us during our fall program at the kids ministry and he loved it. So when I heard the news, I felt deeply sorry for him. As soon as he arrived he was looking for me, shouting through the little hallway: "Dami, my dad has gone dead." I'm not sure if he realized the full meaning of it. I could talk to his Mom and I hope we can take him to our little New-Years-Retreat with our kids from 12-31 to 01-02. Please, pray that this will work out, our kids would get along well with him and it would be a blessed time for him!
And another story that touched me tonight: prepared for doing the dishes I was happy to have the opportunity to talk to a lady I got to know a little bit last time. She is in her fifties, really simple minded, half blind and the sweetest character you ever met. We had a good talk and all of a sudden she looked at me. You could tell she started to put some trust in me. "I have to tell you something", she said. "Yesterday evening, on Christmas eve (for American friends: main Christmas day to celebrate in Germany)I was in my bed, already sleeping. All of a sudden there was a warm, bright light that woke me up. What could that have been?" she asked me and looked at me, still in surprise. "Were you afraid?" I asked back. "Not at all", she answered. I smiled. We had talked before about being alone and that I thought it not a good idea to have any boyfriend only not to be alone. "I know", I said. "That was Jesus showing you that He cares for you and that you are not alone." "But what was the light?" she kept on asking, looking at me in disbelieve. "It's like with the shepherds and the angels", I told her. All my life I won't forget the smile on her face when she started to understand. "Of course", she whispered. "It is like Christmas. It had been Christmas eve and of course it is like Christmas."
In moments like this I just want to hug my Jesus and never, ever let Him go. (What I won't do at all, for no means!) That is why He came. That is pure, plain simple Christmas.