this is my chapter 29

Names

2012-01-10T16:41:00.001+01:00

Monday, kids group from school in the afternoon. We are talking about names and their meanings. What their names mean. If they like it. If their parents had given them their name with a purpose. Some of the names have more than one meaning. I ask them if they know what the name "Jesus" mean. They shake their heads. So I tell them, that it also has a variety of meanings, reading "God saves" or "the divine saviour".
One kid, no Christian parents, brings it to the point. "Wow", he says, "that fits."

Winter Sleep

2012-01-07T10:36:00.000+01:00

Those two last weeks I felt like a squirrel having its winter sleep. Just getting up once in a while to get the necessary things. Missed this feeling for years, so it is time for waking up. Next week :-)

read a thousand times...

2011-12-30T09:49:00.001+01:00

I really didn't think that the famous "armor of God"-part in Ephesians would have anything new for me. So I do love it! But it was in my devotions this morning and I started to read.
What you have to know: I use these days "between the years" how we say in Germany to relax, to think, to get prepared for another exciting year, to just be still. And these days I use to get the first preparations going for another trip to Nepal in April. It will include arranging medical help again, but mainly it will be a time where I want to listen carefully what are God's plans for the "Mendok Project". To enlarge our efforts there in a more spiritual way. And it for sure is a country with lots of things going on in the spiritual realm!
So this morning I read Ephesians 6:13. I will translate it literally here from my German translation:
"When time comes, then you will be able to resist the evil and you will still stand firm when you have won the fight after all."
It is not if, it is not about maybe losing, it is about winning the fight and whether to win it in an upright position. That's what I want. So let's put the armor on once more and stand firm and win the fight...

Little is Much

2011-12-21T08:25:00.001+01:00

This is the same post like on the Projekt Mendok website, but it really touched my heart:
I had promised the fifth graders that I would show them pictures from Nepal, if they would work really good these last weeks and we would get through with our topics. They had been just great and so today it was the day: stories and pictures from Ms Ehring in Nepal. Peter* kept asking for the story I had told while overseeing those put in detention (at the end they all planed to forget their homework to be put in detention...).
Besides all the adventure pics and adventure story I wanted them to know why we are doing what we are doing. That God loves each and every single human being so much, that He does everything, to show this one human being His love. And that this is the reason for me to save money and try to get as often to Nepal as I can. To give this love further to the people there.
When class was finished, Miriam* stood up. She is a small, tiny girl where you can't be sure if she always gets what you're saying. But today she was very attentive and asked many questions. There she was standing in front of me, looking at me with big eyes behind thick glasses, stretching out her hand towards me. "You got something for me?" I asked her and she nodded and put what she held in her hand into mine. "Oh", I said, "is this for Nepal?" And Miriam just nodded. I would have loved to hug her, but something like that she doesn't like so much. Can you imagine, that this girl gave me all the change she had with her in school for the people in Nepal?! That blew my mind. I put the 3x 50 cent in my Nepal box and I can't help it, I have to think the whole day about 5 loaves of bread and 2 fishes... it was enough for all and they even had leftovers...
God bless little Miriam!

*names changed

Someone loves the Girl's Club

2011-12-10T08:00:00.003+01:00

I was just leaving to the girl's club yesterday - the weather unusually beautiful for December afternoon - turning the ligths of my car on. The sun was shining brightliy and it was more a routine thing to do because the last few afternoons had been rainiy and dark. Good thing I did it - just when I did turn them on, they went out. No headlights. And 10 more minutes for my lively girl's club with just two of us. After that, at 7 pm, it would be dead dark.
So I called my brother-in-law who lives close by. But he was on his way to a concert he gave. But another good friend (my car doctor) came. Because both of the headlights had died I thought of a fuse to be the reason. Like last Friday, when my central locking died. Also just shortly before the girl's club.
The girls were great again. We read a short story about a birthday party where everybody was having fun except the birthday kid. It is ones girls birthday today and so the story really fit. Then I read a "Happy Birthday" letter to Jesus and all of a sudden we had a conversation if God really talks to us and how we could understand Him.

By the way: both of the light bulbs had died. Both of the headlights at the same time. Seems as someone doesn't like the girl's club these times. Bad luck. There is someone much stronger, higher, and bigger who loves it very much!

Nothing is as bad or did I learn the lesson?

2011-12-08T19:49:00.000+01:00

Yesterday evening my laptop died.
Usually these are bad news, but I'm thinking of my last post. And a Swabian saying: "Nothing is as bad that it is not good for something else." (Did this translate? The original saying is "nix isch so schlimm, dass es net für ebbes guad isch") I had the feeling that this death would come sooner and later and a few days ago I bought a really nice one from one of my collegues. It takes me a long time to get used to new software and new technical stuff, so we decided - we have a lot of other work to do, though - to go slow and little by little and I would take the holidays to get used to the new one. Now the old one decided to quit completely.
And here I am, getting used to my new laptop step by step. Did I learn my lesson from yesterday? I hope. And I find myself thinking how often I don't want to get rid of old things - habits I know they hinder me, bitterness towards somebody and so on. Sometimes God just takes the old one away completely, so I do have to start the new thing. Feels like freedom :-)

random notes

2011-12-08T06:03:00.000+01:00

Yesterday after school I met with a friend when I discovered I forgot something important in my office. My friend and me spend a lot of time together, it became late and yet I needed the important thing and had to drive back to the school. No one likes these kind of things. Heading back home, I stopped at a shop I usually don't attend. To be honest, there was no reason for stopping or even for checking out that store.
I was just out of the car, when I bumped into another friend. She hugged me and said: "This is just perfect that I meet you here!" We talked about half an hour, she pouring out what troubles her heart and mind. I didn't buy anything. I didn't thought about lost time because of my forgetfullness any longer. It was just perfect to meet her. What I thought as just a unnecessary double drive turned out to be just the right thing. Trusting God even in random things, no matter if the feel annoying or good. My lesson yesterday :-)

This is what's Christmas all about

2011-12-03T23:56:00.002+01:00

The other day H. and me shared in the streetcafé a little bit about our trip to Nepal. We both volunteer in the streetcafé and people kept asking us, so we showed some pictures and explained what we did. And why. For most of these people even going to Cologne is far out of reach - not to mention a holiday or Nepal. But this is exactly the story it is all about. There is this one sheep, lost and went astray. And the shepherd leaves all the others to go after this one to let it taste and see His enduring love. God puts a lot of effort in showing Mendok (www.projekt-mendok.org) His love through us! And with the same effort He tries to show every single person in this world His love. So the story goes on:

Up in the Himalaya, surrounded by mountains higher than 8.000 meters (26.246 ft), I felt very, very small and tiny. "Here, nobody can see me", I thought, and I wasn't feeling so comfortable with this thought. Up there in the mountains I can hear God very clearly. And just when I felt miserable thinking "nobody can see me", He spoke. "I know how many hairs there are on your head", He said kindly. And girl, I do have many hair! "You see me", I thought, "you see me with all my weaknesses and failures, you saw me lost and alone when I didn't know you yet." "Yes", He replied, "and I see every single person in this world. I see how lost you are, how desperate and weary. And that's why I made myself as small as you to come down and show you my love in a way you can understand."
That was my Christmas sermon up there. This is what it is all about. God, the one who spoke and these mountains stood there, just like that, this God became small and tiny so that my small and tiny heart could capture Him. This is what's Christmas all about.

Things I find hard to fight

2011-11-20T23:45:00.000+01:00

- sermons consisting of text modules
- people giving me that kind of small talk I never know an eloquent answer to
- feeling inadequate between all the holy faces surrounding me
- being sarcastic

And then I close my eyes and I am back in these incredible mountains again. Seeing, hearing, smelling, experiencing all creation singing and shouting His praise. And I can't help just falling into their praise, singing and praising the maker of heaven and earth. My maker. Knowing with deep confidence that nothing else matters. Just Him.

just one rice harvest season

2011-11-09T06:17:00.001+01:00

Came back from Nepal on Sunday and so far there wasn't really time to update anything. Left with a little jet lag - very unusual for me travelling East to West - and a cold - very usual for people who work in a school - I am busy to keep up with the daily working routine.
We just were gon for one rice harvest season. In April the rice fields bore this young green and this time you could see the sheaves piling up on the fields. Just one rice harvest season... and I am eager to see when the spiritual harvest will began! This time we sowed more seeds but I am sure God allows them to take roots. We will see when the next rice planting season begins... because we are sure to come back.
Two things left their marks on my heart this time. Leaving for Nepal the day school finished was really a sacrifice this time. And the first week I was struggeling with many things, thinking how crazy one could be doing such a thing. But being up in the mountains, looking in the faces of our friends there reflecting the happiness to see each other again wiped all tiredness away. And then we saw the mountain range like never before. And I caught myself thinking: "You say, this time it is a sacrifice, and all the while God is sitting there, smiling and thinking, wait, I have something special for you, girl..." Or, like Paul says it in Romans: "Has anyone ever given anything to God, so that God has to pay him back? All things come from him. All things are directed by him. All things are for his good. May God be given the glory forever! Amen" (Romans 11:35.36)
Staning in between these gigantic mountain range, sourounded by 8.000 meter high peaks, you feel very, very small. I was thinking, if anybody looks down from above, they wouldn't spot me at all. But God does! He who built these incredible mountains with just one word looks down, sees me, recognizes me, loves me, knows every stone in the valley and on the mountain and every hair on my head. And believe me, I have many...
All was summed up in a quote I read and what expresses this fall time in Nepal with all the people we met, all the relationships we deepend and the new ones we built:

"IF YOUR HEART SPEAKS, TAKE GOOD NOTES."

I did.

old story with new aspects

2011-09-26T10:14:00.001+02:00

You've read and told a story a thousand times - and then you find out there still is something more into it. That happened to me and my favorite story last weekend.
How many time did I tell the story of the lost sheep? I can't remember. For this last Saturday I was scheduled with the devotion for the parents day of the new fifth graders at school. I am not good with devotions for adults at all and I really prayed for the "right" thing to tell them. Thursday one kid visiting me at my office discovered the paper theater we made last year in Nepal after loosing our picture cards. Guess the story. The lost sheep. He was asking me for it and I told him the story and all of a sudden I thought: this is it. The devotion for Saturday. With the story this scripture from Isaiah 40 came to my mind, where it talks about God gathering the lambs and his arms and leading those who are with youngs. I like the German translation that says mother sheep (ewe).
So how to get this together? And what's the new thing about the story?
There are the 99 good, well behaving sheep, sticking to the rules, doing there homework and just acting how they're supposed to. And there is this one not behaving sheep, forgetting the homework all the time, bending the rules and just won't listen. Of course it gets entrapped in the thornes. We all expect this.
But you also can see things different. There are 99 kind of boring sheep, not thinking much for themselves, doing everything you tell them to do. Not very creative, but nice and smooth. And there is the one curious, creative, inquiring sheep, always ahead to find new things. And this one also can get entrapped in the thornes.
How to react? How to talk to a sheep like that? As mother sheep you are happ to have a experienced, good shepherd next to you to give you advice! And this good shepherd just takes the sheep out of the thornes, not asking why it got entrapped, brings it home and gently leads it the right path. I can imagine after the party the shepherd explained the rules again to the sheep, but first he takes it out of the thornes and just carries it along.
We who are with youngsters so need this experienced, good shepherd! Good thing we can work along with Him!

can I talk about life here?

2011-09-22T16:19:00.004+02:00

This question from a fifth grader in my office sums up my work at school.
He couldn't believe that there would be somebody just listening to him, not judging him by his grades of if he did his homework or not. He couldn't believe that HE matters. By end of grade 10 he will know. Thanks to great colleagues who invest a lot in those lives. Thanks to a headmaster who just loves Jesus and those students. Thanks to Jesus, who loves us all together. What better can you learn at school?

the kind of math I like

2011-09-09T23:47:00.003+02:00

This afternoon the girl's club started again. It has been almost two months we didn't had it. Holidays and festivals in July lead to this. Actually I wanted to go there this week to invite the girls back, but school and family kept me busy. Then, Wednesday, I got an email from one of my fellow workers. She can do a training for her job, what means she has to stop with the girl's club for the next one and a half years.
No good conditions for the new start: No chance to invite the girls because of my busy schedule and one helper less (two of us are left). And an encouraging statement of someone about the girl's club being something on the fringes. Plus me being really tired this afternoon after a whole day at school.
So the question arose: is it worth it? Does God still want us to do it? I am so tired by the end of the week and it would feel so comforting and relaxing to think I just can stay here on my couch for the rest of the day... I streched out on my couch and, half asleep already, I started to pray. It could be that no one would show up at five. These girls have a very short attention span, so how can they remember for two months? So I would take it as a sign to stop the girl's club if nobody would show up. I would do it with grief and not easily, though.
Few minutes before five my fellow workers were already there, eager and happy to meet the girls. We went up into our room, Bounty strolling around, looking for the girls. Five past five. We started to talk about what to do if nobody would show up. Six past five. Bounty seemed to hear something, he got into attention mode. One girl rushed up the stairs, afraid she would be too late. Seven past five, Bounty again in attention mode, three more girls coming. Ten past five the older girls showed up, telling us they would rush home and then come back. They did. We ended up with 14 girls!
I told my fellow workers afterwards about my prayer. I could tell by the look of their faces they never would give up the girl's club. Those girls are so worth it! Please, pray with us for another women to help out. Pray with us that we can start again to put Jesus in the focus of each of our meeting. Pray for strength, creativity and just to be awake again on Friday evenings.
God loves those girls! Each single one is so precious to Him. And if it had been for the one who came in first tonight - God does count different anyway. He doesn't count one - two - three, He counts one - one - one. The kind of math I really like.

back to school

2011-09-06T21:41:00.001+02:00

I am so happy about the step of faith to start working at school. It feels totally right each single day. Stories are to come :-)

this summer

2011-08-29T07:54:00.001+02:00

was a different one. I stood in Germany for the first time in 6 years. Had a part time job to finish (so I didn't mind the rain). Half of me missed being away, the other half was content after a turbulent year full of changes.
Saturday we returned from camp retreat and this one was special like always and very blessed. For me I found out that the camp retreat is always challenging. God shows me a lot about myself. Things I like but more things I don't like. And where I can choose to either let them be that way or start to change them with God's help. I choose the change...

short notes

2011-08-19T07:16:00.000+02:00

Camp retreat starts on Saturday - pray for the weather, for the kids, for the volunteers. It is always a special time out in the woods. Pray for deep relationships being built among us.
Finished a job that helps financing some necessary work at my car and part of Nepal this fall. So no vacation this year though I really feel like I could need one.
Working on the Nepal outreach this fall makes me homsick. Really. Can't wait to step out of the aircraft and just be there again.
Not sure about my spiritual life. Feels like in waiting line, not knowing what I'm waiting for. Sounds more depressed than I feel, though. It was the first summer for 6 years now that I spent at home. And it was a rainy one full of work. Maybe I just miss being on the road and spending time with kids.
To add on this, there were some decisions to take this summer and which are not implented in the full yet. What I don't like. September will bring new paths of life. I will work 75% as a social worker at the Christian School. A step of faith again. Because we are not a school run by the state, finances are always difficult and special jobs like mine are only secure from one year to another. But I love the school, the students and the teachers. Can't wait to see them again! And also my girls from the girls club, it has been a long time not being there.
So far with this short update. Being at home outdoors the next week... :-)

news from the house project dream

2011-08-09T08:47:00.000+02:00

Yesterday I caught myself thinking about the house project again. God seemed to stop it a few month ago, and with me now changing my job to be a social worker at the Christian School His timing was just right. Like always. Getting used to a new time schedule, facing new challenges and still being in charge of some old ones at church is enough to fill my days.
But, as I mentioned, yesterday I was thinking again about the house project. Talking to a friend in the evening, she brought up the topic all of a sudden. She also had read the book by Shane Claiborne ("Living as an ordinary radical" - "Ich muss verrückt sein, so zu leben") with this little seed now in her heart and mind to live life different. So we start praying and looking again. Waiting for God's timing. Things keep to be exciting... :-)

"She's got a ticket...

2011-08-01T08:46:00.001+02:00

... I'll think she's gonna use it / I'll think she's gonna fly away..."

Remember Tracy Chapman? I always loved this song. Well, I not really have the ticket in my hands yet, but yesterday God made it totally clear for us to go back to Nepal this fall. Feels like going home. No more words left to say. Except "danyabat, Jesu".

One for all the Marthas out there

2011-07-06T17:21:00.001+02:00

Sometimes I catch myself thinking: this is just not fair. Why is everybody giving Martha a hard time? So that you know what I am talking about: remember the story of Martha and Mary, where Martha has all the work and Mary is just sitting there. It doesn't matter how many sermons I listen to, how many books I'm reading about this story, there is always this thought in the back of my heart: "Poor Martha! I totally understand you!"
Meanwhile I learned this is because I am still reluctant and can't accept to sit still for some time (please read this with a little smile). But I don't think so. It is Ms Martha Down-to-Earth speaking. "Okay", she thinks, "after everybody finished listening to Jesus they will get up, looking around and asking, hey, where is the food? And of course Jesus can do a little miracle but will he do it on the dishes?" Believe me, a lot of these busy things Martha does, she does out of experience!
The problem is that Martha gets angry about things she usually loves to do. And the second problem I learned from a friend, also a Martha and with the same struggles as mine. She told me about another Martha - hey, I think we are many! - who asked Jesus: "Okay Lord, you're telling Martha, there is this one thing she's lacking. But what is this one thing?" And Jesus answered her: "Eyecontact."
Wow. It is okay to be a Martha and it is okay to do what a Martha does. As long as you keep eyecontact.
The funny thing is that this reminds me of my dog. I don't need words to give him orders. But stubborn as border collies are he sometimes just senses that I want to give him an order and he's just not in the mood to get one. So he avoids eyecontact with me in every way he can. What sometimes looks really funny. The Martha-me so often is like that - she rather makes funny things and gets angry then getting eyecontact with her Lord. If she would, He would tell her in His kind way what to do - doing her Martha-things or getting some rest or just sitting at His feet.
Mary and disciples, don't get so hard on Martha. Your world would look different without her, believe me.
Martha, don't forget the one thing: eyecontact with Jesus.

unterwegs zuhause

2011-07-02T09:01:00.000+02:00

This kind of means "at home on the road" - more closely happy while travelling :-)
I just returned from Italy yesterday morning - I spent a few days there with our graduation class. And once more I thought how much I love and enjoy to travel and how thankful I am that God so often fulfills this desire of my heart. God puts us in places where not only He wants us to be. He also takes the things we like to do and adds it to it. Thanks again for being able to travel - and we saw so many things! Verona, Venice again, the Alpes and especially St. Gottardo. The tunnel was closed and we had to take the road uphill. Great view on the Italian Alpes with great wind and the night closing in. I love it!

totally agree

2011-07-01T13:53:00.000+02:00

what to learn from a fuel indicator

2011-06-03T09:04:00.001+02:00

"So often little faith is a choice when we have so many reasons for big faith."

This quote from a sermon I listened to Wednesday evening got stuck in my head since then. I was charged guilty of little faith these last days. Things didn't turn out the way I thought and planned and all of a sudden I was finding myself doubting and not trusting.
I am totally aware that we all struggle with this - but I have to say I don't like it at all! Listening to this sermon opened my eyes and my heart. I have so many reasons to believe and trust in God! So I decided against the little faith. Just doing this changed a lot. It is not the little faith that has power over me, it is me who can decide wether I want to be occupied by it or not. And this decision opened my eyes for the reasons for the bigger faith:
Just on Wednesday I got in my car heading to school, starting the engine and immediatly listening to the annoying sound of the fuel indicator. So many drives to do till next Monday and just not the financial possibility to get enough fuel for it. Depression arose. I just couldn't get another filling. I prayed halfhearted on my way to school about it. After school I got in my car again, starting the engine and waited unavailingly for the annoying sound. "Great", I thought, "now this thing broke down as well. That's really what I need right now." Half way home I stopped complaining. What if the electricity of my car and so the signal still worked perfect and God just extented my fuel? He can do things like this, He proved it already in my life! And this is much better and much more exciting than to have enough money to go to the gas station by the way. But I got the point. I was so stuck in my problems I didn't trust that it is nothing for God to solve them. If He looks at it as a problem anyway.
That evening I took the time and listened to the mentioned sermon. Another thing I realized: I am Peter, Mr (okay, Mrs) "walk-on-water" getting troubled by the wind. Great. How many times did I experience that my God calmed the storms like nothing? So I made the choice for all the reasons to have bigger faith. To argue with my doubts - is there a date of expiry stuck to God's promises for example? I remembered all the times God showed Himself as trustworthy, all the miracles, all His guidance and provision - the reasons to trust outnumbered the reasons to not to without even winking.

(Micah) Challenge

2011-05-31T18:58:00.000+02:00

Went to Leipzig this weekend for a network weekend with different local Micah Challenge Groups in Germany (if you don't no what Micah challenge is - Micah Challenge International or the local group in Siegen). It was both encouraging and challenging. One quote from a Baptist leader from Malawi got stuck in my mind:
"With God there is provision in the vision."
Settles a lot.

Through It All

2011-05-27T21:07:00.000+02:00

I headed home tonight starting to feel depressed and even starting to doubt that God's ways for me these last weeks had been the right ones. Everything is fine as long as the road seems to be there, though it could be rough and steep. But all of a sudden I felt with no road underneath my feet at all. And it felt like it was my fault making a wrong decision. But how could a decision be wrong if everything seems just to shout "this is right!"?
So I got in the car, driving out of the parking lot, all of a sudden strucked by the most beautiful and totally complete rainbow I've ever seen. There it was. God's promise, His commitment to keep it. Right there in the sky for me. Placed in the direction I had to take going home.

This is His promise. He'll never turns nor changes, He'll never breaks the faith. Through it all He will be faithful.
I came home quite comforted and full of confidence and reliance again. This is my God. Placing a rainbow there in the sky just because silly me starts to doubt His guidance. Yesterday and today and always - through it all He is faithful.

just a quote

2011-05-09T19:38:00.001+02:00

Yesterday I was totally captured by the Nepali novel I was reading over the last weeks. I started it in the Kathmandu airport lounge, but reading it made me homesick before we even left. I went on reading it on the plane, just to get homesick while leaving ;-) So back in Germany there wasn't really time to read and yesterday I streched out in the garden, sun burning my skin and sentences like paintings exhilarating my mind and soul. Stories of warmongers and afflicted villagers making my heart cry, describtions of beautiful landscapes nurishing my memories.

"I was just a blank sheet of paper drifting in the wind before you caught me and coloured me. You gave me coloured feathers and I started to fly." (Narayan Wagle, "Palpasa Café")

streetcafé stories

2011-04-28T21:21:00.000+02:00

Two weeks in another world made me miss the streetcafé Thursdays. So despite a busy schedule - vacation program with the kids - I went there tonight for two hours. I was too tired for deep conversations so I helped serving the food. When getting some fresh air outside in the court, one girl came up to me. After some small talk - "how was your trip - we are doing fine" - she said: "Remember, last time we prayed. Mum and me continued praying after that."
They had this awful situation that the electricity company shut down their access and they had been without light and possibilties to wash and cook for almost over three weeks. There were some missunderstandings with the officials and I was not able to help them or even to sort it out because my flight left Germany the other day. So I suggested them to pray. I had once prayed for the mother to get a certain health treatment and it "worked". They were really upset, and on top of it they faced the girl's eighteenth birthday with no possibility to even bake a cake or do anything special to celebrate it.
Tonight she smiled at me. "We continued to pray", she said, "and guess what: three days later, one day before my birthday, all of a sudden the electricity came back. It worked."
Not only did the prayer work in that way, she went further with her story. "When my boyfriend and I moved back Mum told me about this place", she continued. "I didn't want to go, I had lost my connection with God. But now I come every Thursday and I started praying again." "You know", I replied, "God never loses His connection with us." "Yes", she nodded, "I think I come closer again."
The conversation went on, but this girl left my heart touched. There she is - pregnant from a drug-addict, back to Mom's place who has enough problems of her own. And there is God - loving, caring, miracles making. Right here in Siegen.
I really missed the streetcafé...

no arguments

2011-04-27T12:54:00.003+02:00

I have to admit: some things just frustrate me and I really have to guard myself not to get bitter. Most times it's this "I am not gifted enough", even if it's just to do the dishes in the streetcafé (this one is meant to be ironical, though). "I just can't do these things" - Peter couldn't, either. Or do you think he ever walked on water before? I can't imagine any kind of training for this incident. (Or, maybe like this: Step 1 - how to prepare myself mentally for the challenge to get to the rail; Step 2 - standing at the rail must be well considered; Step 3 - imagine to step out, practical exercises included... I do get ironical again...).
No, there was this storm and there was Peter seeing Jesus walking on water. You know the story. And so often it is used for arguments not to step out of the boat. What is the first thing you remember? Peter sank. He turned his eyes off from Jesus and he sank.
Yeah, but we always forget what happened before. Peter stepped out of the boat and he walked on stormy waters. Can you imagine? What kind of a feeling this must have been! To actually walk on not only calm, nice waters, but through and above stormy, raging waves! Wow!
Peter never had any training for this. So what? Anyhow he walked the waters. And when he "failed", Jesus was right there to help and to deliver him. So what's the argument not to step out of the boat?

just take the pen

2011-04-24T14:23:00.001+02:00

Good Friday found me in Muscat, Oman, a little arabic Emirate. Kind of weird to be woken up by a muezzin and then to realise this is Good Friday today. The same evening we landed in Frankfurt again and after one of my most adventerous trips ever I'm still kind of dizzy. So no eggs, sweets or easter bunnies this year - and I don't miss one thing.
Yesterday I was sitting on my balcony in the bright morning sun, picking up my Nepal diary. There are one and a half pages left after my third trip to this country of my secret dreams. They all became true. Yet alone this is something that makes me wonder and thank Jesus over and over, I was sitting there trying to sum up these last 14 days. Kind of hard with one and a half page left... I couldn't get a start. So I opened the little blue book with the daily scriptures. "Let's see what's for today", I thought. "And then finish this book you so love and that is full of experiences, miracles, teachings from God, dreams that came true." A dear friend gave this book to me long before I went to Nepal. She knew about my dream and bought it in a Nepali store. So it is not only its contents but also the story behind.
But back to the daily scriptures. I opened them and read: "Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." (Psalm 139:16)
God knew every single word I would write into this book, He even knew and knows all the things in between the lines or where I didn't had the time to write them down. But nevertheless He gave this empty book to me. "Just take the pen", He said, "and I write my story with you."
He knew and knows how much fun I would have writing everything down, how deep it would sink into my heart - it's not only written in my book, but also on my heart and in my soul.
God has this book for everyone of us. Just a book we really like and where it is much fun to write down the smaller and bigger adventures. Just take the pen. Then He will write His story with you.

Changes

2011-04-06T11:05:00.000+02:00

May will bring some changes - and maybe April too. In two days I am leaving for Nepal. This time the main reason is Mendok, the girl we met last year, who needs a cleft palate surgery. This surgery will be done in a few days. We are going there with two people, getting Mendok and her Mom down from their Himalya village near Kathmandu to the hospital that will cover all things concerning the treatment. I am totally excited, not because of the trip (this is almost becoming routine), but because I have this strong feeling that God has something more for us in Nepal. The second part of the trip the focus will be on possibilities and open doors for another trip maybe in fall. So maybe there will be some changes arranged in April... God knows!
Changes in May are more clearly, though. I will start to work half time at the Christian school I am now at with just 6 hours a week. From May on I will be working there 3 days a week as a social worker. And again I am totally excited! Our school just moved - closer to the place I live - and this gives us lots of opportunities to start new things and revise old concepts. It is lots of pioneer work which I really love. I will still remain in children's ministry at CC Siegen, splitting the leadership with two other reliable workers. My responsibilities there will be less concerning the team and remain the more outward going ones like girl's club, camp retreat or vacation programs.
So these are enough news for one post :-) If you want to follow the Nepal trip, check out www.projekt-mendok-english.blogspot.com or in German www.projekt-mendok.org

"I am not God. I am God's house. And He is always at home."

2011-04-05T20:04:00.003+02:00

May this be the truth for my life!

Sometimes

2011-03-28T21:30:00.000+02:00

Sometimes it takes me almost a month to post something, sometimes I post two times a day.
Sometimes life is exciting and one big adventure, sometimes I feel lonley, depressed and ready to give up.
Sometimes everything seems to be so clear and sometimes I start to doubt everything.
Sounds familiar?
And sometimes there is just the right scripture in the morning devotions: "Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts, Be strong, do not fear; your God will come" (Isaiah 35:3.4). The German translation reads: "Behold, there is your God."
Friday I was both, excited and depressed. The girls club was great, so we were only the two of us. The week before Sari had explained to them how sin came into the world and now it was my turn to tell them how Jesus came to make a way for us. They listened carefully with a lot of questions ("is it true that you live more than once?" - "I am so afraid of death!"). We even prayed together at the end. Jesus really touched their hearts!
And then my fellow worker told me she can't help so much anymore. So the "sometimes" changed into discourage... I talked to the other helper today at the phone. We are both pretty busy and occupied by work and there was no time to be found to pray together this week for our girls and how to go on with the girls club. So each of us prayed for her own. And guess what - sometimes I just love Facebook. One great young lady told me via Facebook she wants to help with the girls club. And another one is really interested and has a friend who wants to have a look for maybe joining us. Sometimes wonders happen so easily... Sometimes I wish to trust my Lord would be as easy for me. The natural thing to do. Sometimes I do. May He change the right "sometimes" in "anytimes"!

just some thoughts

2011-03-28T11:05:00.001+02:00

There are some changes coming up - not moving, God seems to put this plan on hold right now. After the Nepal trip I will start to work more hours for the school and share the children's ministry leadership with two others.
I feel like God really changes some fundamental things in my life. This isn't always nice, because He brings you also to face things you don't like so much. Here are just some thoughts from a time of prayer at church:

I did come a long way.
Some things on the road were really good,
some even great,
and some make me feel ashamed of myself.
No blaming of circumstances or other people along the road,
no one to blame for it but me.
And yet - looking back - I have come a long way,
a long way of grace.
And this will to be continued.

my cell phone and (social) justice

2011-02-26T17:27:00.000+01:00

After reading the insert of my Saturday newspaper I start thinking. About my cell phone. First I feel proud that I am one of the "good" people and that I use my old xxx-cell phone for so long now. Means I don't add to all the electronic trash. I had to replace the cover and keypad a several times and the battery is not the best anymore. But before I can get too proud, I read about a documentary called "Blood Cell Phone". It's about digging for minerals in the Democratic Republic of Kongo that are essential to make cell phones and other electronical items. Often with their bare hands children and adults dig those minerals out of the ground, in mines who are most of the time illegal and often connectet to deprivation of land, forced labour and sexual violence. The director of that documentary uses a cell phone from the same brand like mine. He wanted to know where the constituent parts of his cell phone came from. And he found those mines in Kongo. The producer didn't answer inquiry. Hm. I think anyways I will keep my old cell phone for a long time...
What you can do with your old cell phone you can check out here

Things that keep me occupied these days

2011-02-14T10:33:00.000+01:00

Nepal an the Mendok Project: in less than two month we will be taking off for Nepal again. It's Sam and me travelling, by now we are a quite experienced team :-) But it is not only the Mendok Project. There seem to be more options for integral missions in Nepal in the near future. What used to be a dream and then got reality is now the second big adventure in my life.
The first one was (and is) Anna and rising her through the years. She now is studying to become an occupational therapist and is doing very good. Can you imagine she turns 19 end of this month? Makes me thinking of all the fun we had and have, the good and the stormy times, the highs and lows and all the good times that still rock!
Micah challenge and the big question how we can make a difference in this world and stand up for (social) justice and against poverty. We can't just keep out knowing that Jesus says that what we didn't do to others, we didn't do to Him also (Matthew 25:45). Neutrality always helps the oppressor, never the oppressed.
Children's Ministry and the House of Hope - everyday tasks I won't miss a single day.

www.projekt-mendok.org

2011-01-24T22:13:00.000+01:00

This is the reason why I don't post so much here these days. I will return to Nepal in April to get Mendok, the Nepali girl we got to know last year, to a hospital where the surgery on her cleft palate can be done.
This whole thing leaves me without words (what is hard to believe, I know). Two years ago it seemed like a dream that I was able to go to Nepal. Imagine! Nepal! Then it was clear to go there again last year and now I will return again... totally excited about what else God has in store for me and us with The Mendok Project.

Life in Germany goes on besides the Nepali dream - Anna passed her first exams and did very good, our house project is still on hold but makes progress, the streetcafé, school, Kids of Hope and girls club are still challenging, I love children's ministry and try each day to follow Jesus with more and less success but always with His grace.

and this is the victory, that has overcome the world...

2011-01-10T14:31:00.000+01:00

Second day back to work and I went to the school in the morning. There was one particular student who wanted to talk to me on the last day before vacation started, but when I had time to get back on her, she was gone. Buses left early on that last day, so she had to leave earlier, too.
During vacation time I wasn't sure if I should call her or not. I know her for a long time and I know things are everything but okay in her family. One part of me made it totally clear to the other part that I needed my vacation and also needed some distance from my work. The other part replied: "But it's not work, it's people!" And I didn't want to "just pray" for her to ease my conscience. It was a classic catch-22-situation. I did pray for her - praying also for faith that God would touch her and keep her.
So this morning I went to school, mainly because of her. And we had a long and very good talk. I hadn't met with her regulary for almost a year and she had to keep up with a lot of information. At the end of our talk I quoted a bible verse. "That's another thing", she responded. "I also stopped believing these last years. I want to come back to God again. Do you think he wants me back?"
...our faith. This is the victory, that has overcome the world.

PS: did I ever write here that I love what I'm doing?!

Thoughts On A Holiday

2011-01-05T23:03:00.000+01:00

Worship evening at CC Siegen, the first one for that new year. Can't get my mind stop thinking and start concentrating, so I finally give in and do the thinking. Only two days of vacation to go and today is the first day I feel kind of refreshed. Thinking about all the tasks that will hit ground for sure on Monday and already started to hit me. But then they play "Glorious" by Paul Baloche. I first heard it when we just had returned from Nepal and eversince it is my "Nepal song". So guess what I started thinking about ;-) I am back again on this rock spur where you have a wonderful view on both, Upper and Lower Mustang. And where this monastery is located and you can just sense the evil by walking by. And where we started to worship. And all of a sudden my "scripture for the year" comes into my mind (yes, I drew a new one). And this still, content confidence. In my German bible it reads: "Because the children of God conquer the world. And this is the victory, that has overcome the world: our faith." (1 John 5:4) What a great promise for this coming year! Here I am, thinking about all the battles to fight - Kids of Hope, school, girls club, even in children's ministry, streetcafé. And there is God talking about the victory. You do conquer the world. All this hatred, all this broken lives, all this hurting and desperate souls - there will be victory. We will overcome. By a simple little thing, where even the size of a mustard seed can move mountains: our faith.

Wonders and Miracles

2010-12-29T13:08:00.000+01:00

Preparing for New-Years-Eve I'm writign down some scriptures for the friends I'm going to celebrate with. There is this tradition to draw a verse around New-Years-Eve that kind of accompanies you all year long. Looking for scriptures for this in my little bible I stumple over one specific and all of a sudden I think: "I don't have to draw a verse this year. This is it."
It's the story of Lazarus and Jesus talking to Martha, the one sister I can identify more with (and yes, I know, everybody says we should be more like Mary, but I would like to stress out we should sometimes be more like Mary. Sometimes we need a little bit of Martha, taking initiative and not being afraid of what others think). So, in this story, they're standing in front of the grave and Martha is reminding Jesus about how long ago Lazarus died and to open the grave would provoke strong smells. And Jesus replies:
"Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" (John 11:40)
That was exactly what Jesus told me before this passing year. And yes, I saw His glory! We got the House of Hope - remember? It was January I started to pray and February when we got the House. The school I work for got a new building. The girl's club is just awsome and a lot of things happen there and in the life of the girls. The streetcafé exploded by numbers and the visitors start to join the services at church and one even got baptized this summer. We had great camp retreats and went to Nepal. The Mendok project was established. We're praying about a house to live fellowship at and it looks positive. And in so many personal things I saw His glory. May this not end this coming year! I love to see Him work! And I love to be honored to be a part of it! So my prayer is to not stop believing and to see more and even more of His glory.

Update on my Status

2010-12-28T09:28:00.000+01:00

If there would be something like that on Facebook, it would read HOLIDAYS. For the next almost two weeks I'm just reading, eating, walking the dog and do a few other things (like streetcafé on Thursday and the children's ministry on Sunday). Meeting with friends, long talks on the phone or just doing NOTHING. Just in case you are missing some new stories here - wait till vacation time works and my brain is willing to work again, also ;-)

How Does The Christmas Story End?

2010-12-20T13:53:00.000+01:00

That was the question this Sunday at the Christmas Party with the 9 and 10 years old. We had talked about how we can be children of God, therefor princes and princesses, if we receive Jesus in our lifes. This was connected to the Christmas Story of course and so somehow the question arose how and where the Christmas Story does end. One suggested with the shepherds and angels all worshipping baby Jesus. Another one mentioned the wise men. One of the teachers thought maybe with Simeon and Hannah in the temple. Hm. How does the Christmas Story end now?
John tells us. He describes how the true light came into the world and how the world didn't recognize him as the one and how they didn't receive them. You can read it in the first chapter of John, his very special Christmas Story. And then he continues: "Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God" (verse 12). So it well end if either everybody received Jesus or - how Julia put it with a big bright smile: "That means, never!"

Good Question

2010-12-19T14:58:00.000+01:00

Here in Siegen at the Christmas Market they put up a little ice rink and the kids love to go there for ice skating. When we visited Christmas Market with the girls club, we didn't go there because not all the girls would have been able to afford it. Besides, time would have been to short to get all 15 or so girls on the ice rink and back. So I promised the older girls to take them the next Saturday.
Remember, my girls club girls are mostly Muslim background, or from blended and/or broken families. They neighbourhood is a poorer and more disadvantaged one. The city runs a community house there where most of the girls visit the so called homework care. So they are used to social workers and other professionals.
Saturday came, beautiful day with sunshine and all, so quite cold. Winter at its best. The girls where all excited and happy to have an extra trip together with me. We just had gotten all in my car, when Fatma (let's call her this) bursted out: "Do you want to do this or do you get paid for it?"
I didn't know what to say. This question really got right into my heart. I was thinking a million things in one second. Mainly about what God had shown me for Kids of Hope, where it was so clear that all those kids would need was time and a place to taken care at. And really, there are a lot more things to do on a Saturday afternoon than to go ice skating with those girls. Are there really? I would say, no. What Fatma was expressing was: Do you really care about me? Are you doing this, because it is your job? Or do I mean anything to you?
I prayed for my answer because I sensed this had to be a good one. Here is what Jesus came up with: "Look, Fatma", I said, "I work at a church, something like your mosque. People there know that I love to be with children. So every month they collect money so I can do what I really want to do. It is kind of my work, but I totally love it and at the same time this is what I want to." She nodded in understanding, smiling.
And I? I felt so privileged! I couldn't invite the girls for ice skating, because I was short on money, but I could do something so much more important: I could give them my time, my attention and my love. And that will make a difference.

I'm Sorry, Lord, For The Thing I've Made It...

2010-12-11T00:54:00.001+01:00

Coming back from a Matt Redman concert this is probably one of the songs that touched my heart deeply tonight. Not because of the music - I'm not a musician at all and I won't be tempted to make something big out of music. But out of all the other work that is there. The school. The House of Hope with the kids group and the streetcafé. Even children's ministry, girls club and Nepal. It is so easy to fall in the "that's-so-cool"-trap.When it should be all about Jesus. Very thankful for a wonderful evening with dancing, singing, praising and getting my heart set right again. Because it is all about you, Jesus. Help me keep my hands off the right way!

No News Yet -

2010-12-08T13:28:00.000+01:00

- but this doesn't mean anything but me to learn being patient. Lots of people got sick with colds and the flu and so lots of things got stuck. So no news for the house. I'll let you know as soon as I do :-)

Exciting Times

2010-11-29T10:17:00.000+01:00

...and I don't mean the time before Christmas :-)
Tomorrow evening we will know if the dream about a house with different friends living together will come true... I do need patience. More details on Wednesday...

The Mendok Project

2010-11-24T17:05:00.000+01:00

Finally we got the blog in English - it is about the Nepali girl who needs a cleft palate surgery. If you like, check it out: http://projekt-mendok-english.blogspot.com/

In The Middle Of The Story

2010-11-20T20:10:00.001+01:00

Sometimes we think we are at the end of the story, but in fact we are just in the middle of the chapter.
Eversince I read that I like to quote it and put it together with another one: In the end, everything will be alright. If it is not alright, it is not yet the end.
Some things these days just don't feel allright at all and they are not all right indeed. Some of them are nothing for internet publication, so I won't get into detail. But in all the difficulties I'm holding on to the fact, that this is the middle of the story, and there is often a lot of confusion, tension and things you just have to endure. It is not the end. And in the end everything will be all right. Because my God promised that!
I can see the "end" in so many other things. For example with Mendok, the Nepali girl we try to help to get the surgery she needs. God gives us the right contacts in Germany and Nepal and we're experiencing how He gets all the little and big things together.
Or with the dream about a house where friends just live together - this dream comes closer everyday. Friends of mine want to buy one (a house...) and rent it to the rest of the dreamers. We found the perfect one and I am really not patient at all, I want to know best yesterday that we can buy it :-) But this also is not the end of the story so I try to practice patience... with me, that's an oxymoron.
And by the way, I like to be in the middle of the story. This is where things are happening. Makes you feel alive. Even with a bad cold like I have today, so that's why I shorten this post down and try to get some sleep now.

This and That

2010-11-13T11:22:00.001+01:00

It was often these last days that I sat down in the evening trying to write a new post for this blog - and then I didn't know how to sum up all that happened in just one little box. So here's the shortlist:
- we started Kids of Hope on Tuesdays; it is so obvious that we do the right thing at the right time
- I went to the Black Forest to dogsit the biggest dog in the world and had no internet- or cellphone-access for three days; just two dogs, a fireplace and my beloved Black Forest. It was great!
- we did a horse-project for the girls from the girls club last weekend; and here I will start my post:

For that weekend, they forcasted rain all day long. Not the best perspective for being outdoors all day long wiht girls whom I know would not have the best clothing for it. So we prayed for simply no rain.
Our girls are mostly Muslim girls. Especially one of them, lets call her Fatma, was looking more then forward to the weekend. On Friday she told me: "This will be so great to spend the whole weekend with you!" There is a kind of sadness around her and she always needs a long embrace on Fridays. That weekend I see her beaming with joy every single minute. When we were talking about the weather and that we prayed, she really listend. It was obvious to her that God stopped the rain. (By the way, when it didn't rain again the next day, her friend asked us: "Did you pray again?")
Yesterday in the girls club this sadness showed up again. In the beginning we had a small discussion about our stories and that they aren't allowed to listen to stories about Jesus, especially Fatma. When she sat next to me, telling a little bit about her feelings - what usually takes her a long time to open up - I had the strong feeling to pray for her not only silent but to pray out loud. So I asked her if that would be weired for her. "No", she replied, "please do it!" So I prayed for her that Jesus may protect her and be a shield around her and other things I can't remember. And she seemed to soften and to get comfort by the simple fact that I spoke out the name of Jesus.
On my way home I once again felt what the Bible means when Jesus is described as "moved with compassion". Please pray with me for these girls, for our Tuesday-kids and every single one, people gave up upon. Jesus didn't, and so won't I!

Borrowed Plumes

2010-10-24T20:23:00.000+02:00

I'm just blown away from some articles I read tonight on the AsiaLink website (HistoryMakers) about World Christians and mission. Here are some so called borrowed plumes by Robert E. Speer to think about:

"(...) Christianity contends that the whole of life and all services are to be consecrated; no man should dare to do anything but the will of God. And before he adopts a course of action, a man should know nothing less nor more than that it is God's will for him to pursue it.
If men are going to draw lines of division between different kinds of service, what preposterous reasoning leads them to think that it requires less divine sanction for a man to spend his life easily among Christians than it requires for him to go out as a missionary to the lost? If men are to have special calls for anything, they ought to have special calls to go about their own business, to have a nice time all their lives, to choose the soft places, to make money, and to gratify their own ambitions.

How can any honest Christian say he must have a special call not to do that sort of thing? How can he say that, unless he gets some specific call of God to preach the Gospel to the lost, he has a perfect right to spend his life lining his pockets with money? Is it not absurd to suggest that a special call is necessary to become a missionary, but no call is required to gratify his own will or personal ambitions?

There is a general obligation resting upon Christians to see that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is preached to the world. You and I need no special call to apply that general call of God to our lives. We do need a special call to exempt us from its application to our lives. In other words, every one of us stands under a presumptive obligation to give his life to the world unless we have some special exemption."

Interested? http://www.historymakers.info/missions/becoming-a-world-christian.html

Blown Away - Wonders and Miracles Part XY

2010-10-18T20:56:00.000+02:00

I stopped counting :-) Only today it was one wonder and one miracle - or the other way round, it doesn't really matter how you call it. First was my phone call to a missions board in Wiedenest about Mendok, the girl we want to help with a surgery. Things got stuck a little bit since Arise in the US are facing some difficulties and have to cope with different topics. A friend told me to call the Wiedenester Mission. I had to wait about three weeks with that phone call, because the guy in charge was in Africa. And today, with one simple phone call, everything seems to be so easy. They just agreed to support us without long questions who we are, what we planned and all this. Their support is to get us in contact with a doctor in Nepal who is specialized on exact those jaw and cleft palate surgeries. Things will get in motion now...
And then, for the House of Hope, we had the possibility to buy some special matresses for sports. We would get 16 of them for a price you usually pay for 3 or 4 of these matresses... but still a lot of money! I was considering it and praying and I had the strong feeling just to pay for them on my own. And then figuere out how we get the money for them. When I called Achim, the leader of Hands of Hope, today and told him about the matresses, he checked the bank account and guess what? Yeah, I know, you expected it... :-) Enough money just arrived today from an unknown giver to buy not only the matresses but much more. Blows me away once more. We have a great and faithful God and my biggest adventure ever started when I turned my life completly over to Him. I just love Him!

Did I not tell you...

2010-10-15T10:36:00.001+02:00

Reading a long part of scripture to prepare for this Sunday's children's ministry, my mind didn't really stuck to the text, but was wondering along about how to present the story to the kids. It is a quite difficult one for first graders; Lazarus been raised from the dead. And the focus should be on Jesus' word that He is the resurrection and the life. I was kind of sighing about this difficulty when all of a sudden this particular scripture just gloomed up out of all the others:
"Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" (John 11:40)
What Martha saw was her brother, four days dead, being raised from the death. What I saw was all those wonders and miracles in Nepal. The House of Hope, where we hosted the streetcafé for the second time yesterday and it was full. Last year around October / November I started dreaming of a group for kids with special difficulties - in two weeks we will start with it. I had no idea for my daughter concerning her education - now she loves going to school to become an occupational therapist. And God provides every month for the charges.
But it is not the glory of God if things go all well! God's glory is so much more. His glory is also to be seen if you think nothing is going well and your whole world seems to fall apart. Like Martha's. Yes, there is Jesus, whom she loves and trusts, but still her brother is dead. She finds comfort in the sheer presence of Jesus. And in the midst of her not-understanding, when she starts to question what Jesus is telling her, He gently asks her: "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?"
Often times, in the midst of my not-understanding, Jesus gently reminds me: "You have seen my glory, child. And you will see it. Just keep on believing." And then I remember all those times when stories in my life just ended with His glory. This feels like seeing the silver lining at the horizon. And guess what - that is exactly what it is. Believing in this silver lining, even if it is small and hard to spot. Just keep on believing. And in the end you will see the glory of God.

HIStory

2010-10-03T20:02:00.000+02:00

Today we had a small dedication of the House of Hope - Thursday will be the first streetcafé in the new rooms and in three weeks the Kids of Hope group will finally start after weeks of preparation. So even this sounds a bit pathetic, it feels like being involved in one of those history-stories. And for sure, it is HIS story...
To be continued :-)

New Challenges And Usual Tasks

2010-10-01T21:46:00.000+02:00

This post would also match on the ChapelKids mission blog. I didn't write on this blog here for a while because I was busy with many other things.
Setting up Kids of Hope, the new group starting in the House of Hope end of Octobre. We have five kids so far - and won't get more; it's just two of us to work with them - everyone very special, precious and unique. My vision for this group is said in two words: time and place. We want a place just for those kids - well, we found it with the House of Hope. And we want to have time with them - something that is so seldom and rare in our days and something that is half of all the aid and encouragement we can give.
Preparing the missions evening about the Nepal outreach. It happened this Wednesday and we introduced our new project for the first time. If you read German, check out www.projekt-mendok.org. We met this girl, Mendok, in Nepal. She needs a difficult and complicated surgery and we want to help her to get this surgery done. Either in Germany or in Nepal. Right now there are a lot of things to work on in advance like papers, translators etc.
Being on class retreat with the 6th graders last week didn't give me more time to post either, but gave me a great time with this special kids. They are figuered as one of the worser classes. Well, I think they did just great. If you treat them with the opposite - remember, the opposite of bad is loved - they respond to it and just act lovely.
Still learning about love myself and this is really challenging. I remember Glenn Kaiser talking about "loving your neighbour". Check out for yourself what he said: "You love Jesus as much as the one you love the least."
Girls club with girls who express every Friday how much they love the girls club and how much they appreciate us doing this. Pray they will love and appreciate Jesus one day. At least He is our motivation to go there every Friday evening.

One more week of school and then off for two weeks of autumn vacation. Makes things to slow down a bit. And, last point on this list, streetcafé for the first time in the House of Hope next week :-)
Not to us, but to your name be the glory! (Psalm 115)

Not Actually Funny

2010-09-22T08:55:00.000+02:00

Here is a story that was meant to be one of the newspaper funnys, but I don't think "funny" is the right expression for it:
Two friends - Christians to specify it - are talking and the first one says, "I really would love to know why God allows all this suffering, the wars, the starvation, the injustice, the poverty and all those things tho happen here in this world."
"Hm", the second one answers, "why don't you ask Him then?"
"I'm afraid", the first one says.
"But what you are afraid of?" the second wonders.
"Well", the first one says with some kind of unease, "I'm afraid He is going to ask me the same."

To quote Glenn Kaiser: Now go out there, follow Jesus and make a difference.

Things I Learned About Love

2010-09-14T13:26:00.001+02:00

Maybe you'll find it astonishing that it wasn't so much in Nepal where I learned things about love. For me it is not hard to love those kids we met in the schools or at other places. And it was not hard to love the people we got in contact to.
Also it is not so hard for me to love the people at the streetcafe, the outcasts and not so well advantaged. So, you may think, that just sounds perfect, maybe even a little braggy, what did she learned about love then?
I learned a lot about love yesterday evening, when Glenn Kaiser was at our church. He also loves the homeless, the drug addicts, the outlaws and those, nobody else wants to love. But he said something, that cut right into my heart: "You love Jesus exact that much like the person you love the least."
For me, these are not the people named above. For me, these are the well-behaving, pretending people, the smooth ones who have everything perfectly in order and raise an eyebrow at me, the Hippie Mum with her Punk daughter. You see what I mean.
For me, these are the people just listening and never put to action what they hear - but at the same time complaining about those who try to give their best. Loving my neighbour? If I don't happen to live next to somebody like this, it is so easy! But if that's the amount of love I love Jesus with... because He said we should love one another as He loves us. Gave me a big lot to think about. And because it is a command Jesus gives us here, there is no excuse about "but I just feel that way about this person". And because it is a command, Jesus will give us all the strength we need to fulfill it. So I want to go out there and not only love people I'm attracted to anyways, I will love the ones I find it so difficult to cope with. Because He had loved me first, when I was so difficult to cope with!

This Is My God

2010-09-07T09:50:00.000+02:00

Waking up to new challenges and new obstacles quite early this morning, I felt the overwhelming desire just to turn around one more time, pulling the blanket over my head and go back to another hour or so of sleep. I got up of course, but pushing dealing with the obstacles and challenges a little bit further into the near future by just not wanting to think about them.
Short devotion time with some insights, but nothing specatcular. I have dreamed about Nepal in the night and woke up from it, finding it hard to locate myself and still part of me where in that dream, pondering about certain issues and how simple and structured life was back there. Yes, I learned that my God is the same here as in Nepal. If He can redirect wild mountain rivers there, He can deal with any problem here. If He can heal people there, He can also do miracles here. And didn't He promise me signs and miracles? But sometimes it is one thing to repeat this in your head and another one to believe it and be content with it in your heart. So I grapped the leash, took my dog and went for the usual morning run.
And it was gorgeous! All of a sudden the sky fiery red - of course I know that means bad weather, but it just looked so beautiful - turning into a golden shine you hardly find in the mornings. It was like running through gold and so I choosed a route heading east to enjoy this marvelous morning light, starting to deal in my thoughts with all the problems and challenges I would have to face short after breakfast. When I had to turn, I gasped. Behind me was the most beautiful rainbow you can imagine. It was spread over the part of the village where Anna and me live. I stopped and just stood there in awe. How well my God knows me! And so He just figuered to place His everlasting promise right there in the sky for me. "I will not leave you or forsake you. My promises are true and they will endure. Just be still and know that I am God. I will take care of everything, just like I have promised you."
I changed direction again - towards the rainbow, right into the promise of my God. I can't help but just love Him for who He is and how He loves me. And that left me quite content to all the challenges and obstacles I have to face not only today. They are His.

Things I Learned About Prayer

2010-09-03T12:52:00.001+02:00

Before I went to Nepal I knew of course that prayer is important and essential - but reduced on the basic things in life you'll find prayer not only important and essential, but like breathing in and out. What I learned is to pray faithfully and in the knowledge that Jesus is above all and that He reigns and He has the last word in every situation.

For example the girl with the eczema all over her body. I only had a creme with me containing zinc (remember, I'm just a Mum, no nurse) and her teacher showed me the eczema on her wrists. When I started to put the creme on her, her friend showed me every single part on her body where she had the eczema. It was all over the poor girl. She was standing there very shy, refusing to look or to talk to me, and you could really tell that she was in a bad general condition. At the very end her friend made her raise the head and the face looked just terrible and my heart was moved with compassion. "Jesus", I prayed, "this is just this pain easing creme, it won't heal her. But you can! Please, heal her!" Having a child who suffers from neurodermatits, I knew this creame would just cease the pain a little bit. I gave the cream to the lady who was in charge of the kids, telling her to put it on that girl regularly so it won't hurt so much. Coming back to our hostel, we prayed again for her and I myself didn't stop to do so.
The next week we went up to that school again - I couldn't spot out the girl at first. Then I saw her with her friend, smiling and playing with the other kids. You hardly could tell she had that eczema, only a few spots remained in her face were the eczema had been. And it wasn't the zinc cream, that's for sure!

Or crossing the river - you never can tell what it will look like. Soft and mellow and clear water, big and wild with huge rocks, muddy and dangerous with huge mud waves flooding down every other second. And every time we experienced God's guidance when we prayed. One time we were sitting on the shore for almost two hours and it seemed impossible to cross. One Nepali did, but he got hurt so bad from a stone, tossing like paper in the river waves, that he told us not to go. So we prayed. And all of a sudden I heard this voice: "Cross. Now." I got up and hurried my team to do the same. In between five or six minutes we crossed the river - just before another mud wave came down from the mountains and left more rocks, mud and water, so that the crossing got totally impossible.

Or walking up to a point where you have a view right into the Kali Gandaki valley towards Upper Mustang. Right on the top of the rock is a monastery and one of those Buddhist sanctuaries where you can just feel the evil spirits. But we went all the way to the top, Sam telling me, that it can't be that Satan occupies places like that. So we were standing up there, breath taking view, prayer flags flapping in the wind, ricepapers with incantations on it on the ground. And then we started to worship God, the Almighty, the Creator of this gorgeous landscape around us. The song "we wanna see Jesus lifted high, a banner that flies across this land" never felt so real to me.
What I learned is to take all this and apply it to this western way of life - I pray for my friend who has a severe illness, and deep in my heart I'm sure God will heal him. I pray for the kid where the social worker told me that sometimes it is our profession to give in and admit that we can't help - my Jesus still can!!! I pray for the ways I will go the next weeks and month with the still contentness that my Jesus knows the way and will tell me at the right time - even if there will be just minutes left to go :-)

Things I Learned About Worship

2010-09-01T21:10:00.000+02:00

Because it is almost impossible to write all the stories from Nepal here in this blog, I will write from time to time about the things I have learned. First what I learned about Worship.Personally I think that worship became a "thing" and there is way too big a hype about and around it. One has to learn how to worship "right" and there are all these professionals who have all the knowledge - and whose status I, not even able to play the guitar, would never reach. So I shut my mouth and sometimes remembered those days, when I just bursted out with songs of praise, totally out of tune but totally from my heart. Well, that was a bit sarcastic, I admit. But I find it sometimes hard to get into this special "worship-mood" that is required. And then I went into the Himalayas. And worship was the right thing again. In German there is an expression, that, if you like something very much, you say it is so beautiful it makes you kneel down. And the Himalayas are so majestic, so beautiful, so breath-taking and without words to describe, it makes you kneel down in the literally sense - kneeling down before a great and awesome creator and just praise Him and thank Him for what He has done. One sight was so beautiful, I found myself singing one praise song after another coming down from it. And even it was hard to catch your breath going up, looking around seeing all this wonderful creation we sometimes just stopped to sing and praise.

And a second thing I learned about worship. Up in Muktinath, where the picture on the right side was taken, we stayed at a hostel run by a Nepali Christian. He was happy to have us with him and one evening he gave us his testemony. He told us about a lady with an evil spirit and how all their prayers just didn't make any impact. Desperatly he asked God for advice and God said: "Just worship me." After hours and hours of praying the worship settled it. Within seconds the demon left the women and she was completly freed. What I learned: worship totally changes the situation. After this friend told us his experience, I found myself worshiping rather than pleading. For example when Jesus just kept silent when we asked Him if we should wait for a plane or better take the bus to reach the flight back to Germany. But that's a different story...

Back With New Stones

2010-08-29T15:00:00.000+02:00

Real ones and those God has graved forever in my heart. A friend of ours asked us to bring him a miracle back, and we have plenty!!! Hope I will find time next week to write about some of them.
Our flight arrived at 6:30 am in Frankfurt this morning and after some hassle with the luggage we reached the church as meeting point around 10:00. Sam and me went to visit our children's ministry kids - we really did miss them! And sorry, this is all I will post today, I picked up my child (ok, my daughter, have to admit she grew older an taller) and my dog, unpacked the dirty laundry and I have to be off to sle... zzzzzz

Without Any Title (too much in my head for one)

2010-08-06T11:15:00.001+02:00

Came back from the camp retreat the day before - we had a great and blessed time with the kids full of new experiences, new stories, adventures, touched hearts from both, kids and volunteers and just a time full of Jesus and discovering Him as our one and only treasure. Pictures aren't to be followed because my camera broke down :-( So pics on the blog would take a while... But I won't have time to post them anyway because tonight we are leaving for Nepal. New excitements, adventures, stories, experiences... and again, in the midst of it all, Jesus. In between arriving from the camp and leaving for Nepal I again faced some of His miracles. If I would put up a stone somewhere each time I experience that faith in Him is so worth it, I could build a house by now... So I'm off to collect new stones the next three weeks!

Nepal-Outreach: www.arise.wordpress.com

Smart Plan

2010-07-24T20:32:00.001+02:00

I just finished packing my things for the camp retreat - and I did it under half an hour. That's what one calls training in years... Or not really unpacking things, just the laundry to be washed, and leave the other stuff in the bag for the next trip :-)
I talked to my aunt before about how God uses you in things you like doing. Really I think this is quiet a smart plan (of course). If I like or rather love what I'm doing, obstacles and difficulties are much more easy to face. And they don't discourage one so fast, because coping with them all the time you love the surroundings and the destination you're heading for.
I won't be posting for the next days, but please keep us in your prayers while we are at the camp. We start with the primary schoolers from Monday to Wednesday and then we get the older ones from Thursday to Wednesday. With four kids from Berlin, one kid from the streetcafé and two from my school.

Change the world - one kid at a time!

Some Thoughts Returning From an Outreach

2010-07-19T08:38:00.000+02:00

What this world needs is LOVE.
Before starting: don't get me wrong, I do believe that one needs to repent to turn around and really follow Christ. BUT what really draws people to Christ is LOVE.
Jesus stood up in the crowds and called out that whoever is thirsty should come and drink, because He is the water of life. He entered Peter's boat just acknowledging his skills and being Himself - and Peter all by himself found out he is a sinful man. Jesus talked to the women at the well, He was both, very open and understanding, not judging her. She knew all by herself about her lifestyle. But Jesus' love made her turn and change.
People I met yesterday or every Thursday at the streetcafé know that their lifestyle is not the best to live. In fact it is one that brings them to nowhere. Yes, they need to turn around - but it's so much easier to turn around to someone who loves you, isn't it?

Things That Make Me Cry

2010-07-17T00:18:00.000+02:00

And these are not many! I don't cry easily, but there are a few things such as...
...the wedding of a girl I saw growing up in children's ministry, now going to the missions field and it feels like yesterday I had the honor to baptize her
...praying for the girls from the girl's club whom I won't see for two month because of the holidays, wondering where they will be afterwards and if the do come back
...recalling their conditions at home and holding on to be sure that some of them got to love Jesus
...thinking about the kids in school where the help system fails and who seem to have no chance for a change in their behaviour
...prayer requests from kids such like "don't let Dad beat Mum up"
...praying for the kids who are to be baptized tomorrow
...bringing the non-believing kids who wil join us for camp retreat before Jesus
...still missing the mark if it comes to the point that Jesus really is EVERYTHING to me

Throug it All You are Faithful...

2010-07-12T22:34:00.000+02:00

Just talked to my neighbour this afternoon about this totally unusal heat period we're suffering in Germany these days. I mentioned how bad I feel putting water into the little pool in our garden just for fun and he totally agreed with me. He's not a believer and not that kind of guy that sees always the negative things, but he was really concerned about the condition of our world. About spending all these supplies like water so carelessly. About the weather, that really is out of order.
Then tonight I sat outside on my balcony, enjoying the atmosphere promising a thunderstorm. The clouds were beautiful wild and the sunset put a golden glimmer on the meadows. I was sitting there working on stuff for the camps and the Nepal-trip, starting to worry about some of the unsolved issues in the light of the little time I have. I took a deep breath and looked up - and there was the most wonderful rainbow ever. Dark shaded clouds with some smaller golden ones, leaves shaking in the wind promising a thunderstorm - and there, in the midst of it all, God's promise. Seedtime and harvest, summer and winter will never cease.God will always stay faithful. He will never leave me, no matter, what. Every single of His promises He is about to keep and fulfill.
Thanks for reminding me!

Thoughts About The Harvest

2010-07-07T09:25:00.004+02:00

One of my favorite scriptures is the passage, where Jesus looks at the crowd and is moved with compassion for them. Most of you know how it continues: "The harvest is plenitful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers in his harvest field." (Matthew 9:37.38)
Most times I read this and have to admit, I became a bit discouraged. You look at this big, huge field, ripe and ready to be harvested - that's what it says in the German translation - and you can get frustrated. Where are the workers?
I read the passage again the other day in my devotions, just before I took the dog for the usual morning run. We did a little variation on our track and all of a sudden I discovered a wheat field, something not so common in this area. I just love the look of it, we have plenty of them down south and sometimes I do miss them. So I passed by this wheat field just being happy and delighted over it, its richness, beauty and all the signs that show you that the wheat is about to be ripe and in two more weeks I will pass a golden field on my running track. And all of a sudden it hit me. That's how I have to look at the harvest! It's not: "oh, no, look at all this work and all the people missing to do it!" It is: "Look at this wonderful field, at this plentiful harvest! Let's start harvesting! And let's get others to help and delight also in it!" It's not only fight - it is also delight - for the harvest is ripe!

An Outreach, A Homeless, A Necklace and God's Faithfullness

2010-07-04T23:17:00.005+02:00

Today the Nepal team joined the "12_weeks" outreach of the young CC Essen. Thing was, the main roads here in Siegen were closed because of a bikes and skates event going on. So meeting at the Chapel - and getting children's ministry started - was the first task for the day. We walked over from the skate hall to the Bible Colleg to pick up a bus there (thanks again!). On the way I met an old homeless guy I wanted to invite for the streetcafé ever since. Because we were good in time, I stopped and talked to him, handing him one of the streetcafé cards. He started to talk right away. Funny things - he has these old shopping carts full of stuff he thinks he sells to people. I thought about giving him something or buying something, but I only had bills and I needed the money for the day ahead. So when we started to leave him, he called me back, handing a necklace to me, a cheap one, like you get in 1-Euro-stores for 50 cents. I wasn't sure if I should take it, but he was pulling out another one for Rahel, who was joining us, and searching for something he could give to Sam. But all he could find were those necklaces. "You know", I said, "but for so many necklaces (four by now) I will give you something." And without thinking I gave him 5 Euros and felt totally at ease with this.
So Essen - long day, long walks, putting tracts in mailboxes, setting everything up for the open air service, inviting people and talking to them. One of the men from the team, who just became a believer not long ago, asked me a lot of things about Nepal, church life in Siegen and so on. He wanted to know if someone would pay for our expenses for a trip like this to Essen. I hesitated - I didn't want him to think money is not an issue, but I wanted to let him know that despite that God takes care of the expenses all the time. He listend to me and all of a sudden he pulled out his purse and was kind of apologizing: "It is not much, but if you're going to eat somewhere now, this is for you." And he handed me - a 5-Euro-bill!
By the way - I wore that necklace all day long. Made me look like a gypsy but also reminded me all day long of God's faithfullness!

Summer of 2010

2010-07-02T16:47:00.000+02:00

Two of the fellow workers at the streetcafé and me got lost in old songs last night... remember "Summer of 69" for example? And with those temperatures outside and the turning of the calendars yesterday I was thinking, yes, summer's here indeed.
That means last meetings and duties at school such as preparing for the moving, getting everything ready for the final grades, working ahead for the next school year which starts in September. Working on the concepts for the house (remember?), especially on the "kids of hope"-programm we will start in October. Getting everything ready for the camp retreats starting July, 26th, preparing the devotions and the handouts for the kids, writing little dramas for new puppets. And getting ready for our trip to NEPAL. This is where I want to ask your prayers for. If you read German, check out www.chapelkidsmission.blogspot.com. If you don't, just pray for all the preparation, in spiritual and in any other sense. We're just noticing that Satan starts to strike back. With little things such as stressed out teenagers, short finances, some worries in the personal lifes for us leaders. BUT when Sam and me where talking and praying about all this the other day, God reminded us right the day after that with Ephesians 6 and keeping up the shield of faith. For me that means: where do I look upon? Last year when we were about to take off for Jomsom the clouds where so thick you hardly could see sunlight. Everybody told us, there would be no flights going up to the mountains. I didn't believe, because God had told me I would be in the mountains for my birthday and time got a little short for that. So I focused on one small gap in the clouds. I couldn't really see what was behind that gap, but still I focused on it and prayed for the clouds to disappear. And maybe you remember that story - the clouds did so and we could take off for the mountains. So I must have learned to focus on the right things, right? Sometimes I seem to forget... but the "right things", the right focus is always Jesus and His promises!

Workers for the Harvest

2010-06-27T08:25:00.001+02:00

Friday was the last girl's club for the next two month. Upcoming holidays and ohter events in the neighbourhood, where the kids are involved, sum up to this quite long time. Some of the girls return to their homelands over the holiday such as Morocco or Syria. Others just stay home and hang around. Will they come back after August? Will this time be too long? And those whom I suspect things at home are everything but good - will they cope with it and stand it? What's left is to pray for them. And not to forget this over a busy summer!
Some of the girls are not allowed to listen to stories about Jesus and this really is a challenge for us. They are not allowed to pray either, and for them it is a real double bind - on the one hand, they want to stay and really listen, on the other hand they want to obey their parents. So this is a double bind for us, also. Please pray with me for our girls over this summer!
When I was thinking all of this over this morning, I once again came back to this incident, when Jesus saw the crowd and He was moved with compassion. His reaction was to help every single one of them - and to tell His disciples to pray for workers for the harvest. Sometimes I can get discouraged watching the harvest and counting the small amount of workers. Makes you feel sometimes like this thing is impossible. But then Jesus' once again gives me another perspective and I look at the harvest. It is ripe and ready to be harvested - there are so many people just waiting for love, compassion and the salvation through Jesus Christ. And they're just ripe to receive all of this, just like the strawberries in my garden. Every morning I eat all of them, and the next morning they seem all to be back. I like that. And if I look at the harvest that way, discouragement has to go away. There are so many people ready to receive the love of Christ and to be eternally changed by this. I want to be a messenger for it as good as I can, and despite of being discouraged I will pray for more workers to bring in this wonderful harvest. Let's love someone up to Jesus today.

The Opposite of Bad...

2010-06-21T10:31:00.000+02:00

...seems to be pretty easy, or? The opposite of "bad" is "good". This is how we are taught from the beginning. You're a good girl (or boy), if you say "thank you", and a bad one, if you don't. There are bad animals like wolves (by the way, who came up with that one?) and good ones like sheep. There are the bad guys and the good guys in almost every movie, the bad kids in school and the good ones.
If it only would be so easy... there are those bad kids where you can tell deep inside them is something that doesn't want to be that way. Or those who have tried all their life, but they never succeed and all the time it just seems to happen to them to be "bad". They try to be good, but they always come short. So they remain the opposite, the bad ones.
And I can almost feel you disagree while reading this. I taught two of my favorite stories in children's ministry the last two Sundays. The story of one sheep and one short guy no one could stand. He for sure was bad! And, to stick to the definition above, also the sheep, because it ran away. Maybe the sheep couldn't help it, but the short guy did it on purpose. And what did Jesus do? He looked at both of them, the bad sheep and the bad guy, and He saw the opposite.
The opposite of bad is loved. This is how Jesus looks at all the difficult, "bad" people. This is what He teaches me in school, children's ministry, the streetcafé and the girls club.
The opposite of bad is - loved. This is how Jesus looks at this world. This is how He looks at me. This is how I want to look at the people around me.

North Korea and the Soccer World Championship

2010-06-14T12:54:00.002+02:00

So everybody has her or his own opinion about sports - but there shouldn't to be too different opinions about North Korea. There is nothing like human rights in this country and their political prisionrs (including Christians) could easily fill the whole stadium where North Korea is about to play on Tuesday.
What make me wonder (and rather upset) is the absolutly lack of commenting in the media about North Korea joining the World Championship. There had been countries rejected because of their inhuman government. And if they were allowed to play, there were lots of people protesting and pointing out the situation in these countries. Why not with North Korea?
Why do I leave this without a comment? Thinking in this direction, I thought it should be something more than a group on facebook or a post in my blog. So tomorrow, when North Korea will have there first game against Brasil, some friends and me will have an information stand right in the city. We want to point out the situation of the Christians on the one hand and the political situation in North Korea as well. It was no big deal to make this happen. North Korea will have at least three more games. If you like to do something likely we can send you the flyer we created.
South Africa is celebrating Africa's humanity - let's stand up and pray for human rights in North Korea!
'

May and June Update

2010-06-12T07:49:00.005+02:00

May ended great and June did the same with its start: I joined our graduation students at school for their trip to Italy. The weather was just perfect and the kids - yeah, I do have to use the word "nice" for them, because that was really how they behaved. A trip to the top of the Monte Baldo, viewing the Italian, Austrian and Swiss Alpes, togehter with visiting Venezia made work really easy. Though we had a lot of good, deep talks. Especially with our busdriver, who was really searching for God. He was blown away from the behavior of our kids and the different atmosphere.
And believe it or not, I even went canyoning... those of you who know me a little better know about my fear of water. But there's no help for fear sometimes, you just have to do things even you are afraid. Sounds quite spiritual, doesn't it?

As for the house - yesterday there were some last negotiations and it's coming closer. God closed some doors like the flat next to it and the possiblity of using one room as a shelter for women. Keeps my life interesting, because I feel like moving back more in the center of the city. Please pray for a lot of wisdom in that case!
Preparation for Nepal is getting more intense (we're leaving August 6th around midnight) and so does the preparation for the camp retreat the weeks before Nepal. If you want to learn more about the Nepal team check the link on the left.
That's all for now, I will post more these days - if more will happen :-)

Consuming Fire

2010-05-24T17:52:00.003+02:00

Really touched by the sermon last night and the small, but intensive prayer meeting afterwards I followed some thoughts this morning. To be spiritual you just need to have the Holy Spirit... this is both simple and so hard. Why do we, why do I always start off good and then seem to loose speed (and Spirit) on the way?
Another thought: God is a consuming fire. Maybe this sometimes frightens us. But then I read in Matthew how John announces Jesus as the one who will baptize with the Holy Spirit and with fire.
And pondering over this I ended up again to be fed up with wishing and the "what if"s. Am I willing to be baptized with the Holy Spirit and with fire? Not even this seems to be the question. Because I so desperatly do need it! Lord, send Your fire!

New Kids on the Block - or The "Wonders and Miracles" Follow Up

2010-05-06T22:16:00.003+02:00

Most of you won't remember this teenage band - but we will be the new kids on a really bad block. I wrote earlier about the house we would be able to rent for the streetcafé and a lot of other possibilities. We planned to introduce the vision to the whole church end of May with a sermon Achim has on his heart for this. We were thinking about a way to do kind of a sponsorship. We had some good ideas... but then God speeded things up a little and Achim was to do the sermon last Sunday. Me being away for the weekend and Sam with plenty enough of other things to do we gave it to God. The result was a card where people could oblige themselves for 10 Euro a month for the next one and a half years. We printed 200 cards - reckoning if people would take 100, this would be a sign for us that the church is behind this and we could go for it.
Sunday noon Achim called me. Remember, I wasn't at church. "Is there anything I can do for the afternoon?" I asked him. "No", he said and I could almost hear his big grin, "all the 200 cards are gone!" We gave more cards away in the afternoon. And I thought, printing 200 was great faith. I have so much more to learn! We don't need great faith, but faith in a great God!
Only thing is, the connected flat is to be rented otherwise. I'm not "believing" it. There is another landlord owning this flat, but the house makes perfect sense with this. For renting it otherwise they have to do a lot of rebuilding. Please, pray that we can also rent this flat - God willing, of course.
Wonders and miracles. And there is yet more to come. By the way, YES, WE ARE RENTING IT!!!

Revolution...

2010-05-04T08:40:00.002+02:00

I just came back walking the dog, meeting a guy I always meet if I'm later then usual. This morning I just didn't make it out of bed, no reason why, and so I was late.
This guy had told me yesterday about his health problems. In fact, he's always happy when we meet and we can have a little talk. His life is full of more or less severe problems and he seems just happy to tell somebody all of it. When I asked him about his back this morning, he came out with a totally different story. His wife came back from the doctor yesterday with suspicion of cancer. They have two little girls and so this morning he was just telling me everything - all his fears and worries. I just listened to him. He told me from previous problems and how they tried to get help from different TV-shows. Nothing did work. I made a little attempt to tell him about Jesus - but my mouth seemed to be shut. I hated it! When we both went our ways, I was almost crying. And most because I am so angry about myself. I'm reading "Revolution in World Missions" again these days and I thought: "I should have asked him if I could come and pray for them." Why didn't I do it?! Because this is not appropriate in our culture? What a poor excuse! Because I could feel his - understandable - resentment against churches who let him down? Part of! But that's no excuse either. I simply and plain acted like a coward. And I'm simply and plain sorry for it.
I will be late tomorrow morning again, in full purpose, praying to meet him again. Praying for the revolution in my heart and in my acting.

Who Came up With the Girl's Club?

2010-04-24T10:53:00.001+02:00

Yesterday it was Friday again - girl's club time. I had been to the dentist in the morning and my reactions on the anesthesia shots are always funny. So I didn't feel quiet well. And how it always goes, this time we had more girls then ever and some new ones, too. We went for a treasure hunt in a nearby forest, the weather just perfect for it. I love doing treasure hunts, you have lots of time to talk to the girls while walking. One of them, a tiny little girl, took my hand. "I like the girl's club very much", she said. My heart made a little jump. She is Muslim and sometimes she just doesn't seem to catch things up. "I like it, too", I answered, "and I like to be with you girls."
She made her thinking-face. "But", she continued, "who came up with the girl's club?" Before I could answer her question, she did it herself: "I think God did", she said, "it must be Him."
God made it up - and we are following Him. So whatever you do in His name, just remember who came up with all this: It was Him.

Little Side Note

2010-04-12T09:20:00.004+02:00

Sunday in the skate hall one little kid came up to me, crying. "What happened?" I asked, assuming he fell with his scooter. "He treated me like Jesus!" he whined. I thought I didn't understand right because of the noise. So I bent down and asked him again what happened. "He treated me like Jesus!" he repeated, still crying. "So what did he do?!" I asked back. "Tossing and pushing me like that", he replied, showing me how the other kid tore him at his shirt. He had watched the Jesus movie for kids and that left deep impressions in his soul and mind.
I have to admit I had to laugh quiet a bit before I could intervene with this fight. But as funny as it was, I had to think the rest of the Sunday about his formulation. Most of the people didn't treat Jesus nice when He was on earth. Most of the people today don't treat Him nice. And neither they will treat us nice, His disciples and followers. How often do we whine if we are treated like Jesus? "If they hate me, they will also hate you", Jesus promised us. The question is not if we are treated like Jesus, but if we will respond as He did. With love, compassion and full of forgiveness.

Bob Marley and Morning Walk in Spring

2010-04-06T14:58:00.005+02:00

This morning as soon as I reached the meadow this song started to spin around in my head: "I can see clearly now, the rain is gone... it's gonna be a bright, bright, sunshinin' day" And it is indeed! Walking the dog and watching him I was thinking about how simple and wonderful at the same time God created everything. You should watch Bounty sitting in the sun, holding up his snout into a breeze and just snuffling the spring with this dreaming look on his face. Or snorting into the soil, not just because of the mice but because everything just smells wonderful new and lovely. And writing this I smile a little and can't help thinking but, yes, indeed, the rain is gone... I felt and experienced so many of God's blessings these last days: not only my car being repaired but also the bill being payed, a big donation that will cover Anna's first month in school, friendships that deepened and answered prayers -

I can see clearly now the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Here's the rainbow I've been praying for
It's gonna be a bright, bright sunshinin' day

He Truly Is Risen!

2010-04-04T10:21:00.003+02:00

When I went out the door to walk the dog this morning I met my neighbours and they greeted me with this old greeting: "The Lord has risen!" and I replied: "He truly is risen!" That's Easter. Though I'm sitting here at home, petting my cold, not able to attend the service this morning, this little encounter settled it. He truly is risen. What else is there to add. This contains everything: love, victory, power, neverending hope. Let's celebrate Jesus today, no matter how we feel, no matter how the circumstances are, no matter what ever - He truly is risen.

Some New Adventures

2010-04-03T20:25:00.002+02:00

It's a long time since I last posted something, but right before Easter I want to do a little update. I'm sitting here in my living room with a bad cold I caught and wonder how to write down what happened these last weeks.
It was one day in February when I talked with a friend of mine about a kid we both have in different groups. It just struck me that there always seems to be not the right therapy and if, then nobody pays for it. There never seems to be the right place or enough time. So I'm totally convinced if you just had a place and time to show the kids Jesus, they could get well in whole. I expressed my longing for Jesus-centered place where we just could meet with those hurt kids. Something like a social learning group, but with Jesus in the center. My friend said the only right thing, that is to pray about it. So we did.
This idea got really serious and to make a long story short, in between two weeks somebody offered us a house to rent. It's located in the middle of the city and is just perfect. It has quiet a big hall next to it, just perfect for the streetcafé our church runs since last June and that needs more space. Now we are praying... we will decide end of May if we will rent the house or not. There are many things involved to it: more room for the streetcafé so this would be able to extend, one floor just perfect for kids groups and lots of other things. One would be that I would move in there, too. That's not an easy decision. We do need a lot of prayer. If God wants us to go for it, He will take care about the finances we will need. And about everything else.
For me, when I first thought about that possibility, I remember myself asking Jesus: "Can't I first finish Nepal? This is all so much at once!" And I did hear Him saying: "I will take care of Nepal." What He does tremendously. We will be accompanied by a couple that's been there many times. He really is in control.

Why we sometimes don't understand God's ways

2010-03-06T16:40:00.004+01:00

My dog is my best teacher. That means, God teaches me a lot through him. These last weeks we had lots of snow, and the meadows where he usually runs free had been covered with a firm blanket of snow. No digging for mice. And perfect conditions to teach him directions, because no mouse-smell could distract him. So we practiced "right" and "left" and in the end we both did pretty good. He already knew "straight ahead", so this made things a little easier.
What this dog-talk has to do with God's ways? Pretty easy. While practicing, I told Bounty sometimes directions and it didn't made any sense to him at all. There was nothing to find at "right" or at "left", it was just for the plain, simple practice. Walking outside praying for some decisions I have to make and directions from God I ask for those, it struck me. This is sometimes how God deals with us. Maybe it doesn't make any sense for us - open doors we have to go through and then they close again, things He asks us to do and then nothing seems to happen. If you know situations like that, be sure you are in God's training lesson. He teaches you to hear His voice, to listen to it, to recognize it and to obey. Bounty did a quiet good job learning; the last few days the snow was gone and he even did directions with this tempting smell of mice tracks all over the ground. Because he learned. That's what I want to do, too.

Wonders and Miracles - Part XXL

2010-02-27T11:02:00.002+01:00

Both tired and inspired after the prayer night at church - so I didn't made it until the end and left early around 2:30 am. Mainly because yesterday we also celebrated Anna's 18th birthday. Being a Mom for 18 years leaves you with more grey hairs, more muscels and definitly more fun. And definitly with more insights about our Savior and a deeper understanding about the fatherhood of our God.
And this blog title expresses my expectations. First I couldn't remember how many parts of "wonders and miracles" I had written so far. Too lazy to look it up, I decided for the "x" - and then it hit me. My whole life is full of wonders and miracles so far. I experienced quiet a few yesterday while praying with my sisters and brothers. And there will be yet more to come. God gives in fullness! You know how this saying goes with the cup - how the pessimist sees it half empty, the optimist sees it half full and the pragmatic says, "take a smaller cup". This used to be me. But then I remembered Psalm 23 and since then the pragmatic turned to the expecting: "my cup overflows". If this isn't XXL - what then?

Nepal Outreach 2010

2010-02-20T11:18:00.004+01:00

'Those who were not told about him will see, and those who have not heard will understand.' Romans 15:21b

For more details - come to church tomorrow :-)

"The Gospel is only Good News...

2010-02-13T22:49:00.002+01:00

...if it gets there in time." (Carl F.H.Henry).
This is not only true for our country, for all the homeless, unwanted, the ones sick at body and soul. It struck me tonight watching a video from Asia Link and for the upcoming outreach to Nepal this August. Please, pray for us!
And in the meantime I want to do all I can with my own strength and the one that God gives me to get to those who need these good news in time - "redeeming the time, because the days are evil." (Ephesians 5:16)

The Big Little Things or Why It Pays To Hang On

2010-02-11T21:50:00.003+01:00

A few years ago I did a climbing course on Fridays at school. And sometimes it was really hard to hang on. It used to be my day off and then I also started with the girls club at this time. My helper had to quit and the kids - not many - were eager to do the climbing course. Not because they were so good at it. No, just the other way round. Friday after Friday I was asking myself, is it worth it? Sometimes it was just helping the kids to get up a few inches at the wall and not to be afraid to hang in the rope. Not a place where champions were born. If you look at it this way and call this big things.
But if you look at it the other way and call the little things big... There was this kid, kind of heavy set and full of complexes and hidden fears. He hardly made it up the wall, but he loved it. Sometimes I drove him home and he was asking me lots of things about the church, about faith and many other things. Finally, he made it up at the top and since then he took off. He started to get all the climbing equipement and talked about nothing else. Years went by, in the meantime I stopped with the climbing course. This kid took over, so to say. In different workshops teachers, parents or older students can teach things they are really good at. Guess, what this kid teaches :-)
Today I met with this kid, almost grown up now, working in his father's business in his freetime. I'm pretty sure he will join us this summer for Nepal. I was amazed by his maturity and thoughtfulness. And I remembered all the climbing courses where it sometimes was so hard to hang on. It was so worth it. So, if you need a little encouragement for situations where it seems hard to hang on, think of this story and just keep on hanging on.

The Arms of Jesus

2010-01-29T22:09:00.006+01:00

Topic at the girls club tonight was how Jesus saved us from our sins. It wasn't easy to prepare - all the time I tried to something happened like ringing cell phones, important emails, visitors - so that I assumed something special would happen tonight. Most times if the preparation time is hard the study turns out good. But as you will see, this is not a rule.
Four girls showed up and one of them brought also her younger sister. Otherwise she's not allowed to come Most of the other girls are sick or couldn't make it because of the bad weather condition. And these four girls who showed up acted like we had the ten worst behaving kids from town in one room. Okay, got me, I'm exaggerating, but believe me, they were realle nerve-stretching tonight.
Long time ago one of my mentors told me that it is normal to experience such behavior especially when you plan to show the way of salvation. Satan of course doesn't like it and he stirs up the kids and it's a plain simple spiritual war going on. So I was kind of relaxed but not at all happy, struggeling through the lection waiting for the one thing to happen. Nothing. No interest, no sudden understanding or deep questions.
The game was not much better, in fact, they showed themselves from their worst sides. I was ready to break up earlier, two get my little niece and enjoy an relaxed evening at home with her an my daughter. After all, I didn't, and when it was time for them to go home, the oldest one all of a sudden fell dead silent. "What's up?" I asked her. "Nothing", she mumbled. "Maybe I got to strict", I thought, they really had gotten on my nerves. "Seems like you're in a bad mood", I said. "No", she replied, her expressions the totally difference to her words. "I had been to strict", I thought, and, feeling a little guilty, I put my arm around her shoulder and asked her: "Could you need a big hug?" She turned round clunging her arms around me. I hugged her and she squeezed back like she never wanted to let go. "You don't want to go home, right?" It all of a sudden hit me and I could feel her nodding, her head pressed to my chest. Her friend was like a rubber ball next to us jumping up and down, asking 30 times in a minute "What's wrong with her? What is it? What happened? Is she ok?"
"She just needs a big hug", I told her, trying to pray in silent for this girl in my arms. She hugged me as if she never would let go. I tried to ignore the other girl - who for sure also wanted a hug! - and prayed, that Jesus would touch the heart of this girl in my arms. Silently I blessed her. She is one of our muslim girls and it's difficult to tell her about Jesus in direct ways. Her friend didn't stop asking and I explained once more: "Nothing is wrong, she just needs a big hug." "Then hug faster", this girl replied, "we have to go!" It was just too cute and we all broke up laughing. That loosened the situation a bit.
"You get another hug next time we'll see each other", I told the girl. Her smile, just beginning to lighten up her face, disappeared again. "You don't know if you can come next time", I guessed. She nodded. "Then I will pray for you, that you will be able to come" I said and she nodded again, the first time not telling me that she wouldn't be allowed to.
I have no clue what's going on in her life, in her home, but I do know that she needs Jesus so bad! Satan tried to hinder her from hearing about Jesus, so Jesus didn't use words these time but arms.

"Surely children weren't made for the streets / And Fathers were not made to leave / Surely this isn't how it should be / Let Your kingdom come
Surely nations were not made for war / Or the broken and due to be ignored / Surely this couldn't be what You saw / Let Your kingdom come /Here in my heart

And I will live to carry your compassion / To love a world that's broken /To be your hands and feet
And I will give with the life that I've been given / And go beyond religion to see the world be changed / By the power of Your Name

Surely life wasn't made to regret / And the lost were not made to forget / Surely faith without action is dead / Let Your Kingdom come / Lord break this heart

Jesus Your Name / Is a shelter for the hurting / Your Name / Is a refuge the weak
Only Your Name / Can take the undeserving / Jesus Your Name /Holds everything I need"
(Lincoln Brewster)

Sometimes I wish...

2010-01-27T19:43:00.004+01:00

...I would be braver. Then I would establish one of these day groups for kids for example. Or some kind of assisted living for so called difficult kids. I just hate it to see how Satan destroys lifes even in these young ages. You seem so helpless and powerless facing the multi problems of these children. And it seems like nothing could be able to reach them. It doesn't really help to tell myself that Jesus is almighty and that He has the power. I just feel crushed down, longing for many, many miracles.
And all of a sudden I remember that Jesus promised me exactly this. That I would see wonders and miracles happen.
Sometimes I wish I would be braver and just fight in the knowledge of these miracles to happen. Maybe we start with this one, Jesus, making me bolder and braver.

Through it all...

2010-01-21T08:28:00.003+01:00

Tumultuously times... lots of paperwork for German bureaucracy and some cards have to be reshuffled, how we say in Germany. I started to worry the past few days if I could handle it, what would lie ahead and how things would turn out. Yesterday I talked with a friend on skype, who faces a similar situation, discussing all this. Yeah, I know all those "trust-me"-verses, but sometimes they just seem to stay in your head and won't settle in your heart.
All of a sudden I remembered the verse I got on our New-Years-retreat for this year:

"My heart says of you, 'Seek his face!' Your face, Lord, I will seek." Psalm 27:8

That settles it all.
Seeking His face I'm reminded that I'm not of this world. I'm heavenly bound. My citizienship is in heaven. I don't fit into this system here. And, most of all, this is not the system that counts for me. Sometimes I have to submit to it and just fill out the blanks and applications, but guess who's working on them ;-)

Advantages and Disadvantages about

2010-01-16T18:02:00.006+01:00

... being sick.
It's funny how different things are if you are sick. So I just write down some (+) and (-) things about the last days:

(+) enough time to sleep, sleep and sleep
(-) no motivation for nothing, not even for prayer or reading the bible
(+) more time than usual with my daughter
(+) feeling revived without juggling with different dates
(-) coughing
(-) the more getting better, the more getting bored
(-/+) watching movies I always wanted to watch
(+) being at home
(+) taking a break
(+) the more getting better, the more coming back to prayer and my bible
(+) the more getting better, the more ideas starting to rise up in my mind... like going to Nepal again this summer and how to get things together for this outreach.
Think I should stay sick a little longer! ;-)

A Blacksmith, a Table, Ephesians and the Girls Club

2010-01-08T20:45:00.007+01:00

A friend of mine has a really unique couch table. He made it as his masterpiece for becoming a blacksmith. I think it's one of the most beautiful tables I've ever seen. When I told him so, he showed me all the mistakes in there and where he was careless with carrying out details. This little story is kind of the prefix to this post:

Every New Year we draw verses from the bible, one personal and one for our children's ministry. This years verse really touched my heart: For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10) One of the girls at the New-Years-retreat draw the verse, and when she read it, I looked around and saw all these workmanships, this little masterpieces, and my heart was filled with joy.
Now you may say, "but I'm no masterpiece, I have so many mistakes and blemishes!" Think about my blacksmith-friend. He wasn't careful doing his masterpiece and yes, this one has mistakes. Still I think it is beautiful.
Can you imagine God not being careful creating something - someone? Yes, you may have mistakes and blemishes - but God created you different. The German translation reads "he created us new in Christ Jesus". What a wonderful start into this new year! Even when I am a masterpiece with scratches and damages, He creates me new in Christ Jesus.
Tonight we had the first girls club after the holidays. It started chaotic like always, we couldn't use our regular room. Usually after the holidays the girls are chaotic, too, forgetting about rules, manners and everything. We started off with this "verse of the year" and I couldn't believe how well-behaving those girls were the whole time! It almost frightend me :-)

We drew personal verses as well, and it was so cool to see the verses the muslim girls got. One had "Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus" (the German bible just reads "Christ"), another one "whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life". God knows exactly what they need! They all loved their verse and created it beautifully in a wooden frame to take it home. They are God's workmanship, He created every single one of them and His desire is to save them and love them home.
I believe with all my heart that those girls respond to the love of Christ and that lifes are being changed. Please pray for them that they understand the gospel in full and accept Christ Jesus as their savior.

This Is How We Know

2010-01-02T20:04:00.005+01:00

Coming back from the New-Years-Retreat with the kids I'm really tired and surprised and overwhelmed once again by my Jesus.
It must have been eleven years ago when I first visited this small hut in the midst of the woods. It was the time when I started to be in charge for the children's ministry and the whole ministry including the kids could fit on one admittedly quite big couch. We went to this hut with a team and it was there where we prayed for our ministry and God gave us directions and foundations still valid today. I myself had one of my most touching experiences with God. And here I am again, with the second generation of kids, one dear friend from the first generation, now a reliable young man, helping us minister to the kids. I'm not the sentimantel kind of person but things like this are really touching my heart.
We were able to take a boy with us from the streetcafé, whose father had died the day before Christmas. We had the most precious prayer time for the ministry of a friend of mine in South Dakota who also had a New-Years-Retreat with (unsaved) kids. The kids were asking for the devotion time ("mail from Paul")with Paul's letter to the Philippians. And I just love the scripture one of the girls drew for the children's ministry: For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10)
This is how we know that our work in the Lord is not in vain. This is how we know that He, who started the good work, will also be faithful to complete it. This is how we know that He is real, that is love and grace for us will never end. This is... just listen to Matt Redman, who put this all together in a wonderful song :-)
(click on the pic next to this blog)

Christmas

2009-12-25T23:07:00.002+01:00

First thing I heard when I stepped into the streetcafé early this evening was: "Have you heard, XY did die the day before Christmas." It really shocked me. In his early forties I had no idea he had been sick. He and his wife got a divorce not long ago but did lots of things still together because of their son. This son is very special. If you want to meet a really hyperactive kid, I'll introduce you to him. He's somewhat between nine and eleven. We had him with us during our fall program at the kids ministry and he loved it. So when I heard the news, I felt deeply sorry for him. As soon as he arrived he was looking for me, shouting through the little hallway: "Dami, my dad has gone dead." I'm not sure if he realized the full meaning of it. I could talk to his Mom and I hope we can take him to our little New-Years-Retreat with our kids from 12-31 to 01-02. Please, pray that this will work out, our kids would get along well with him and it would be a blessed time for him!
And another story that touched me tonight: prepared for doing the dishes I was happy to have the opportunity to talk to a lady I got to know a little bit last time. She is in her fifties, really simple minded, half blind and the sweetest character you ever met. We had a good talk and all of a sudden she looked at me. You could tell she started to put some trust in me. "I have to tell you something", she said. "Yesterday evening, on Christmas eve (for American friends: main Christmas day to celebrate in Germany)I was in my bed, already sleeping. All of a sudden there was a warm, bright light that woke me up. What could that have been?" she asked me and looked at me, still in surprise. "Were you afraid?" I asked back. "Not at all", she answered. I smiled. We had talked before about being alone and that I thought it not a good idea to have any boyfriend only not to be alone. "I know", I said. "That was Jesus showing you that He cares for you and that you are not alone." "But what was the light?" she kept on asking, looking at me in disbelieve. "It's like with the shepherds and the angels", I told her. All my life I won't forget the smile on her face when she started to understand. "Of course", she whispered. "It is like Christmas. It had been Christmas eve and of course it is like Christmas."
In moments like this I just want to hug my Jesus and never, ever let Him go. (What I won't do at all, for no means!) That is why He came. That is pure, plain simple Christmas.

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-22T19:07:00.002+01:00

What Anna and me did today:

More Wonders and Miracles

2009-12-18T23:43:00.003+01:00

My titles start to get boring... but this today really was a miracle! We had the Christmas celebration for the girls club today, it's the last Friday before the holidays start. Problem was, that a class from the youth departement, where most of our girls go to get help with their homework, had a lot of events the last time on Friday till 6 pm. Our girls club starts at 5 pm. We had a lot of girls not coming over the last weeks. And last Friday we found out there is another event right at our Christmas party.
Nadja, one of our helpers, went to talk with the lady in charge. She was nice and all, but didn't seem willing to change the schedule for us - what I didn't really expect - or send the girls out a little earlier. Anyway, we did special invitation cards for each girl. And then we started to pray and shared this request with some of the prayer groups.
Not only the question arose of how many gifts to wrap, but also what to prepare. Would it be us four, five and three, maybe four girls? Or maybe 6? Would it be our Muslim girls, so we couldn't use the bibles somebody gave us as a gift, or the other ones? This afternoon I looked at my all preapered and wrapped gifts - and I just had the feeling to wrap some more. Indeed that was a good thing to do!
When I reached the building where we meet, Nadja and Gitti had already started to decorate the room. We had planned to decorate everything together with the two or three girls who don't attend the class and then wait if some more would show up or not. If not, we would have a little cozy party with these girls and just enjoy each others company. Last Friday some of the other girls came in more than an hour later...
... and then it was 5:15 and the door slammed open and two of our girls rushed in. "Are we too late?" At the end we had about 12 girls plus their younger brothers and sisters and some parents. We don't evangelize much, one can't with Muslime kids or adults. But we tell the stories of Jesus and just try to love them towards Him. That's all it takes sometimes. One of the girls was more than misbehaving when she first came. Now she does everything she can to attend the girls club and you won't recognize her there again. Today she clung to me all the time, hugging me and wanting me to sit next to her. Jesus does change hearts and lifes! Please continue to pray with me for those precious girls to become princesses of our father in heaven!

Unexpected Wonders and Miracles

2009-12-15T21:29:00.002+01:00

Yesterday a strange thing happened. I'm waiting on a call from some parents, so I check my phone display to call back if I see unknown numbers. (The known I call back, too!) So it was yesterday. My answering machine was blinking, but no message left. So I called back the number on the display.
A woman with a strong Slavic accent answered. I asked for her name again, because I didn't understand her, but she ignored that question and started to tell me her whole problem. And not an easy one! It was very urgent as well, and I didn't had the heart to interrupt her to tell her I didn't even knew her. So instead I prayed. And knew insteadly that this was totally ok and it had been God's hand in this phone call from the very beginning.
I could calm the lady down and found out that she tried to reach her social worker, but couldn't get a hold of him. It happened that I know him and just had talked the other day with him, so I knew he was out of office the whole morning and would be back late in the afternoon. That seemed to settle things for her and she really calmed down and thanked me for my help.
I still have no idea who she was, but I'm totally convinced that it was God making me dial her number.

Besides, while praying for Nepal - to go or not to go, that's no question - I checked out a new facebook blog from a friend and found the song I posted on the right. It really is no question... please pray that it is not my will, but God's, that He will put up a team for next year (wanna join? August is the date!) and provide with everything we will need.

December Update

2009-12-14T16:18:00.005+01:00

Anna and me went to visit our friends in Jordan in the first week of December. It was stressy before and stressy afterwards, but totally worth it. What I always wanted to do and never managed - not getting dragged into this Chrismas hysteria - works now perfectly. I simply don't have neither time nor money left for getting too involved in this... :-) And it was quite an experience being in Petra, the old Nabataen city graved into rock and to think that in Germany it's the second Sunday of Advent and the German Santa-Claus-Day. And I'm walking here through one of the seven wonders of the world, marveling about God's greatness, enjoying a winter-desert-day and the warm light of the sun. Besides, for me Christmas was put back to its natural meaning through this trip. Watching the Bedouines with their sheep and seeing stables like in those ancient times took all the romanticism and cuteness out of it. Jesus left unimaginable glory to live in the poorest condition. Just out of love.
I won't promise pictures, still didn't upload the Nepal pics... maybe for Christmas ;-)

Trustworthy

2009-12-14T11:55:00.001+01:00

God has not called you to trust Him, so that you could be the first one to see Him fail. (Roy Lessin)

Wonders and Miracles, Part 1

2009-11-20T13:52:00.003+01:00

I went shopping late last evening after a long day full of challenges. Looking for my favorite bread I almost bumped into a teenager. I kind of recognized her from somewhere and she was greeting me with a big joyful smile, obviously happy to meet me. I had to ask for her name and when she told it to me it hit me. I had certain counsels with her and not easy ones. She had a hard childhood and it all ended up with her being in a clinic for some time. That's when I stopped hearing from her. I kind of accompanied her through the crisis that went ahead and it was not easy to loose every bit of contact to her. So there she was - standing before me with a broad grin in her face. She's doing fine and you can tell just by the way she looks. She worked for some month after leaving the clinic and now started at an evening school to get her degree. Just a few days ago she had come into my mind and I said a silent prayer for her. And then I bump into her doing my shopping late at night - God really blows my mind! For me, this is one of the miracles He promised me to do. I'm excited about the next parts!

Miracle Maker

2009-11-15T07:42:00.003+01:00

Sitting in my living room after a short run, watching the clouds passing by and enjoying a coffee before a busy day starts. I went down South with some good friends for one of the last concerts from "delirious?". We took a whole day of for this and God just blessed us with great fellowship, a wonderful concert and a deep and intimate worship time. God really touched my heart. Ever since we did this service for the pray-day for prosecuted Christians I have this one plea in my heart: "Jesus, I, we need it also that you come behind us with signs and miracles!" (That was one topic of the preaching about how we can pray for prosecuted brothers and sisters.) I need those miracles so badly - for friends, for people at the streetcafé, for kids in school, for the children's ministry, for myself. I so desperatly want to see people be set free!
So, with the last song "delirious?" were playing, God answered this plea. Simple and quiet all that He said was: "I will do it. Just wait."
Not my favourite to do, though. But I will turn again and again to my miracle maker, staring in His face, sitting at His feet, having my heart healed to rise again and to walk in the shoes of my miracle maker...

What Is Good About...

2009-11-05T19:44:00.008+01:00

...dysfunctional printers.
Because the one at church doesn't work like it's supposed to I went to a printer shop this evening with several datas to print and then to cut the papers. Tooks the nice lady quite an amount of time to finish. Her colleague, who started to serve me but then had to give up on my special wishes, was really nice at the cashpoint. Part of it because I left some money with her. But she was chatting a little bit, asking if everything went well and gave a snoopy glance into the box where all my different papers were stacking. Something catched her eye and she had a closer look, I could tell she was really interested.
"You know about this?" I asked her. "No", she said, "what is it?"
What she was looking on happened to be the stack of prayer readingmarks I will need for Sunday. Topic will be the worldwide day of prayer for the prosecuted Christians Open Doors had initiated. So I told her about it and she was more than interested. I told her a little more about our church and she wrote down the website from Open Doors to check it out with more time at home.
The two muslim men waiting in line behind me still gave me a more kind of investigating look out in the parking lot. They have heard our whole conversation and I don't mind at all. Funny what stories come out if your printer in the office doesn't work...

What Faith Can Do

2009-10-30T11:54:00.002+01:00

Been to a great concert yesterday - kutless - and the boys had just the perfect new song, that really matches my last few days, weeks, months.

I've seen dreams that move the mountains / Hope that doesn't ever end / Even when the sky is falling / I've seen miracles just happen / Silent prayers get answered / Broken hearts become brand new / That's what faith can do.

Besides, one is never to old to rock and roll ;-)

Fed Up With "Ifs"

2009-10-23T22:32:00.003+02:00

Driving home yesterday evening from the streetcafé I had to stop at a place where a friend of mine had some work because I definitly needed some prayer. He is always good if you need somebody to pray with or just if you feel like praying. For me, it was both. I had taken home the young drug addicted couple, they had come drunk substituting one drug with another. My heart broke for them and still is. Besides, this is all very challenging and disturbing for me. Years ago when I decided to become a social worker it was very clear to me that I would never ever work with drug addicts. Never say never if God is involved... but believe it or not, this is not at all easy for me.
So Daniel and me prayed and in leaving all of a sudden I thaught of the Casting Crowns song: "But if we are the body...". Know it? It continues: "Why aren't His arms reaching, why aren't His hands healing...". Just a few hours before I had prayed for a drunken young man. I was convinced nothing would reach him in his drunkeness, so I prayed for a miracle that Jesus would just make him sober. He got all quiet and calm after the prayer, before he was just talking and talking like a wind-up doll. He so badly needs a miracle! And I got so fed up with all the "ifs"!
If I would be better educated... if I would have enough money... if I would be older/younger... if I would be more courageous... if I would have more faith... IF I WOULD STOP TALKING ABOUT THE IFs AND START JUST TO LIVE THE LIFE I WOULD IF THERE WON'T BE ANY IFs!!! See how hard this is? So I decided to get rid of all those "ifs" in my life and just do it. I'm so totally fed up with them - just do it. Just pray, just believe, just be His hands, His arms, His feet. He won't fall short, that's for sure.